No, I did not still take the pill.

Soooooo...


I go AWOL for awhile, and now I'm back with a bang. I should warn you, however, that the following story has references to boobs, smells, and is possibly slightly inappropriate for a public setting, but I do what I can to finally have a traditional Heather Show story to tell. If any of these things bother you, move along, folks. Just move along.



So you chose to read on, eh? Well, by doing so, you are agreeing to not judge me.

Kapeesh?

Kapeesh.



Proceed.


So this morning I'm heading off to work with 14 things in my hands. I need to grab a pill to take with me, but since it was just one pill, I didn't want to grab the whole bottle. I had no pockets in this outfit, so I used my God-given pocket for temporary keeping.

Those of you who have never met me in person should know that I have, ahem, quite a large "pocket."

You get what I'm saying, right? I hate when you keep talking about something in a vague way thinking that everyone is with you, but really they're not and you just look a doofus. Maybe I should spell it out to avoid this embarrassment - cleavage. I put in my cleavage, ok? A pill whose granulated contents are encased in plastic was in the cleave. I thought that as soon as I wasn't carrying 28 things, I would take it out and put it in a more appropriate place.

Anyway...

I get to work, and it's flipping 80-something degrees in here. I should note that usually it's so cold in here that I require a ski parka and blanket wrapped around my legs, so I wore wool pants and a heavy shirt because, ya know, you can do that here in June.

I am not kidding you people, I am roasting in here. Every single person who walks by is talking to someone else about how hot it is in here. Someone called Facilities to see what is up, so I just go about my bid-nass, confident we'll feel more comfortable soon.

Well, here I am, working (read: getting in my daily blog-reading) and I realize that something is sort of itchy in the cave. I casually scratch a little bit and feel something odd.

It's then that I realize that I totally forgot about the pill.

I look down and the plastic casing has totally melted on the skin-touching side, and is now GLUED to the boobage.

After prying it off, there are now remnants of the granulated contents all down my chest. And let me tell you, people, IT STINKS. They have that plastic casing there for a reason.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to retreat to the bathroom stall with some paper towels and a little squirt of handsoap. It's only 9am and I am not smelling this junk all day.

Oh, and as pictorial evidence...

Yes, those little granules are part of the smelly insides.

Is this picture too far?

Meh, oh well. I figure if this story bugs ya, we're probably not friends in real life anyway.

Happy Thursday!