The Heather Show

It's like a mama bird feeding its baby.

2011-11-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

I need you to watch this clip. It is worth 30 seconds of your time.

It is like an eclipse that continues to seer my corneas with every view, yet I keep pressing play.

What the heck, people?? WHAT THE HECK????????????????????

Ugh, so painful. So terrible. Yet so - freaking - funny.

Blerg.

2011-11-02T15:17:00.002-06:00

Lately, I have been feeling the desire to jump back on this rusty ol' thing and post more regularly again, but I just have felt lacking in material. But I guess I should take a cue from the BoM and nourish the desire and then maybe the fruit will follow? So let's just pretend I haven't been absent and I'll jump right back in.

The other night I said to Josh, "I feel like my life would be a lot better if I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight, and if I had a lot of money."

He smiled slightly and said, "I feel like my life would be a lot better if my dad was alive and I didn't have diabetes."

Then I had to edit my response to add, "And also if I ever had a dang card to play that could trump your dad and diabetes cards."

I NEVER GET TO WIN, PEOPLE.

(And no, the picture doesn't really have anything to do with anything except it makes me laugh out loud and kind of evokes the "Blerg" imagery of my lack of blogging skills.)

Thankful Thursday

2011-04-28T18:02:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was our little Alan's birthday. It's easy as time goes on to forget the impact he had on so many people in such a short amount of time. It saddens me to admit it, but with my finite memory much of my recollections of him have dimmed. Today I am grateful I was a more active blogger at that time and can so easily access the thoughts I had surrounding the experiences then, thus stirring more memories and emotions to remind me. To experience again, at least in some part, his magnificent little spirit and be reminded how much God loves and cares for each of us. (By the way, He loves and cares for you a whole lot, too. You know that, right? Good.)

I've referenced those posts a time or two before so I won't re-post any in their entirety again, but will just link to his category. If you have some time and feel like reading about a spectacular, strong little boy, then by all means click through. Mostly I just wanted to remind myself.

Thanks for hanging in there, folks, and for still reading this little ol' contentless blog. :)

Well, I tried.

2011-04-04T11:11:00.001-06:00

I HATE AUTOSAVE.

I wrote up a long, insightful blog post last night, but wasn't sure I wanted to post it. So I just went in this morning and decided to go ahead. Then I hit Ctrl+Z one too many times, and right in that SECOND, stupid blogger autosaved the blank post. So I lost it all, and I don't feel like writing it again. I just thought I'd tell you that so you know that sometimes I do try to blog.

Thankful Thursdee

2011-02-17T11:30:00.003-07:00

It's been so long, that I suppose it's time for a little gratitude!

Today I am grateful for a sweetie pie who won't just take a normal picture.

And that'll be the extent of my mush.

It has been surprising to me because I always thought I'd be the opposite of this, but I've kind of discovered that I prefer that our mush be kept just between the two of us. Obviously we got married because we love each other and think that the other is great, so I don't feel the need to enumerate why he is awesome. Besides, I've started feeling like it's more special when it's just ours. But he is a sweetie.

I'm also grateful for the TWO (count 'em, baby!) close friends who are coming to visit this weekend from out of state, and especially for the extended time I get to spend with each of them individually. I haven't seen this lovely lady in almost 3 years:

Hey, Jen! Is that picture of us not embarrassing enough? Well how about....

THIS ONE!

Okay, this one is actually just more embarrassing for me. Seriously what is wrong with my face? It's like that banana has already caused some constipation. (It's my blog and I can say "constipation" if I want to.) Well, at least no one can say I don't emote when I perform!

And this one I last saw at my wedding so couldn't spend a lot of time with her, and hadn't seen her for like a year before that:

She has learned Chinese, served a mission, gotten married, and had two babies since then. She doesn't mess around, folks.

I am bummed that I don't have the picture of Jewel-io that I was looking for right now, and only have this cute one of her singin' her pretty little heart out. You got off lucky, Jewel! (You may want to avoid me holding a camera this weekend, because I probably cannot be trusted. Just ask Jen.)

I'll be honest, I don't really have friends in Utah, so the opportunity to spend girl time with such lovely women is about to blow my mind. They are both awwwwesome. Don't be jeal. (And if you are in Utah, then we are probably friends, but not the type of friends who ever talk or do anything. And if you are offended, then maybe you should call me and we will be the other type of friends!)

Aaaaaand, that is all I've got for now. I hope you have awesome people in YOUR life for whom to be grateful. And also that they don't post embarrassing pictures of you on teh internets. (Maybe that is why I have no Utah friends?)

Seriously?

2011-02-16T15:47:00.001-07:00

After finishing a conversation with a coworker who stopped by my desk just now, I looked down to discover that the one button of my shirt that stretches across my, ahem, bosoms, was wide open. Displaying all that lies beneath. And no, I have no idea how long it was open.

What a convenient button to pop open! And an even more convenient place for it to pop open!

Winter weight gain, you can suck it.

I'm obnoxious.

2011-02-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a long ol' time, and it was sporadic enough before that. This is mostly due to one sad fact, which brings me to the solemn announcement I have to make:

I have lost the funny.

Tear.

And while I lost the funny, I also gained a few inhibitions.

I'll give those of you who know me from my younger days a moment to stop chuckling at the absurdity of my possibly having inhibitions. (Cathy, anyone?) (Now my inhibitions are screaming at me for linking you to Cathy.)

...

...

But for real - it's true. And if you're thinking, dude, you weren't that funny before, then, ho-ho-ho, you will be sorely disappointed now.

BUT! I've decided, with much encouragement (or maybe it should be termed prodding) from some of you, that I should probably just start writing again even though I don't think I have anything to write about, and then maybe - no guarantees - the funny will seep its way back in. So listen, people. WE MUSTN'T SCARE THE FUNNY AWAY. We must be patient and nurture it, and never expect too much of it. This could be a painful process (much like this post), so I will not fault you if you cannot power through.

Basically, I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO NOT BE FUNNY.

(I realize the only people reading this are here because they follow in an RSS feed and it told them I posted - and if you don't follow in a feed and checked this on your own, then give yourself 17 loyal points.)

(And apparently my affinity for parentheses took over all the space, and then some, where the funny once resided.)

Lazy or Genius?

2010-10-26T16:05:00.000-06:00

On a scale of 1 to 10, how lazy is it that while at work, I often leave various documents, emails, and applications that I need to print open, and wait to actually print them until I see a coworker walking to the printer to get their own stuff, knowing that they will see mine and then bring it back to me?

I'm gonna go ahead and call it effective time/energy management. Maybe I should include that on my upcoming annual evaluation?

Painting The Town (Well, My Hair) Red

2010-09-01T12:45:00.000-06:00

How's about this for hating change?

These pictures aren't the greatest representation, as it's crappy lighting and was taken with my iPhone, but I was chastised for not posting about this and warned that it would soon be old news, so that's what you get. Oh, and I also feel weird taking pictures of myself, so I have to look away and make a face or something. Again, that's just what you're gonna get.

I may or may not have almost crapped my pants in the preceding hours, but this lifelong blondie went red yesterday. I liked it a lot last night, but not so much today. I'm hoping I just need to adjust. Oh, and apparently red is the fastest fading hair color, so we did it a little more intense initially because it will fade quickly.

Psssssssssssssst!

2010-08-25T14:09:00.001-06:00

This guy

started his Master of Accountancy program today.

And I couldn't be prouder.

Sing it with me now...

Go Joshy! Go Joshy! It's your birthday! Go Joshy!

(Yes, I'm a dork. But you knew that.)

Oh, and the best news is, this is the program we wanted because it's only ONE calendar year, so he'll be a Master this time next year. (HOLLA!)

One question: once he's a Master, I guess the beating me with sticks thing will be okay?

Because I do as I'm told

2010-08-18T14:11:00.004-06:00

Josh seemed to think that you all might enjoy this transcript of our gmail chat conversation, and told me to blog about it. And because I do as I'm told (when I want to), here you are:

Heather: I am annoyed with fedex

and the fact that their lives do not revolve around my iPhone like apparently mine does.

(I might be pathetic)

Josh: :(

what happened?

Heather: nothing i haven't told you

I just want my phone, dangit

and if I dont' get it today, I will have to get out my stabbing stick

and I will be ready to poke

Josh: ... i might stay here a bit longer..

Heather: why is your life not revolving around my phone either????

what did they plant in my head at at&t that turned me into a crazy apple fangirl who can't get a grip?????????

oo, I think fedex is calling

Josh: blog this conversation

And because I am feeling stabby and not too talkative, I'm just gonna sum up the details real quick.

After mulling over the decision for quite awhile, I finally decided to get an iPhone 4. Everywhere is out of stock (because they like to annoy me), so I had to order it. People, I have been fine without an iPhone my entire life, but for some reason once I ordered it, I became increasingly obsessed and my thought process was something like this:

Hmm. What should we have for dinner.

I WANT MY IPHONE.

Ok, I guess I'll make some spaghetti.

I WANT MY IPHONE.

When is Josh going to be here?

IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE

You get the picture.

Anyway, apparently today's FedEx driver was a fill-in, and she did not think to leave my package at the apartment office like everyone else does, so I almost lost it. (Yes, you can judge me. I judge myself. In fact, I will judge YOU if you don't judge me.)

(Whoa, this is me not talkative? Yikes...)

I will update you if anyone is stabbed. From jail. But I guess only if I get my iPhone.

Apparently my husband is a violent man

2010-07-19T12:15:00.005-06:00

This past Friday my company hosted our annual summer party at Utah's best waterpark, Seven Peaks. Although it's always a little awkward seeing your coworkers in swim attire (helloooo crazy-hairy chest man! I had no idea!) (but let's be honest, I'm not judging the crazy-hairy men. Josh's back and I had a date with the clippers just before we left), who can pass up a night of free food, free waterpark fun, and the possibility of winning some sweet prizes? (My company always draws for prizes at these sorts of things.)

After hitting up the free dinner, Joshy and I headed over to the wave pool. Shortly after, the program and prize drawing started. My name wasn't called for the first round so we were mostly just chilling. You have to be present to win, though, and after a few people weren't there, they kept calling more and more names. They were about to give up when finally my name was called! Woot woot! I was toward the back of the wave pool so was trying to climb out the side. When they couldn't see me, they started talking about calling someone else, so in my haste to be seen, I scraped my leg on the edge of the pool and bolted to the side. As I was running, I could feel the awkwardness of running in a wet swimsuit (we've discussed the problems with a chest of my size previously), but for some reason I just kept running in front of a hundred or so of my coworkers? With blood dripping down my leg. (I'm a class act, people.) (No, I don't think I overuse parentheses, why do you ask?)

We chose some balloons that had a piece of paper with a prize listed inside, and had to pop it in an embarrassing way (in a swimsuit) to find out what we won. What did I win? A night's stay in a suite at Sundance resort that is bigger than my apartment, along with two tickets to the summer theater show, Big River. Suh-weet! Embarrassment completely worth it.

(Man, I talk too much and this isn't even entertaining. This is why I've stopped blogging, fyi.)

As soon as I got my prize and knew my name couldn't be drawn again, Josh and I ditched the remainder of the program and prize drawings to take advantage of no lines at the slides and rides.

They had this inflatable ring with two pedestals inside. You stand on the pedestals and hit each other off of them with the Gladiator-type, Q-Tip looking stick things. It looked something like this:

Except we were in swimsuits with wet feet. And were not wearing helmets. And our pedestals were not padded. And were higher.

I took my stance on my pedestal expecting a fun little flirty time of lightly battling each other, and was immediately faced with a man who apparently wanted me dead.

I'm just gonna be honest here, folks. I was a little frightened.

(I never denied being a sissy.)

The first time he knocked me off, I had enough forethought to jump away from the pedestals, ensuring a soft landing. After my pleas for a more lighthearted time were repeatedly ignored, I wised up (and toughened up), figured out that I could widen my stance the full width of the pedestal (I never claimed to be a genius either), and finally managed to knock the aggression-filled Josh off of his post. Thinking I was safe I lowered my guard, and that man who professes to love me took a cheap shot as he went down. My (stupid) instinct was to try to stay on, so as I fell down my knee clipped the edge of the pedestal.

While Josh could be heard on the other side shouting phrases like, "Sucker!" I softly said, "Umm.. I think I'm hurt kind of badly..." I'm not really one to bruise easily, but I have never seen a bruise appear on anyone more quickly. Cuts and scrapes bled, blood blisters appeared beneath the skin, and Josh felt sufficiently crappy about it. We called it a tie, and hopped out of the ring, glad no one was around to make me get first aid help or something. We also didn't want my blood to keep me off the slides, so we found a slide that had water leaking out of it, and I stood under it rinsing my leg.

Here is how it looks today:

Believe me, these pictures do not do it justice and it looks waaaaaay better now than it did (the blood blisters are gone). And please excuse the weird angles; I was trying to take this discreetly under my desk at work. (I told you I was classy!)

As a side-note, these are the shoes I'm wearing today. Aren't they fabulous? (My nickname at work is "Shoes.")

Boo to Spammers

2010-06-19T22:41:00.000-06:00

I really hate the dumb word verification thing, but I've been getting a bunch of spammers the past couple of days so I'm going to add it in hopes it'll help. Thanks for putting up with it.

But it's the end of an era!

2010-06-17T13:03:00.003-06:00

Today I officially (legally) changed my name.

Yes, I do take a long time to embrace and go with change. Why do you ask?

But come on now, I think I do deserve just a little praise because it only took me six months. Allow me to elaborate:

I have lived in Utah for 4 years, but I still have my Arizona driver license (which is in my maiden name, of course). Today I finally decided that I will go ahead and get a Utah license once I receive my new Social Security Card, but I still don't really like the idea of no longer being an Arizona resident in any way, even though I haven't really been one in quite awhile. I used to make the typical "inconvenience" excuses, but I now live like 5 minutes from the DMV. It is on my way to work. They even let you make appointments now so you don't have to wait. Yet this unexplained desire to grasp tightly to Arizona is still much stronger than the potentially ticket-worthy offense of having an out-of-state license.

I also decided to make my maiden name my middle name so I wasn't completely relinquishing my former identity. (I never had a middle name before.) Sure, doing this used to be fairly common, and when your maiden name is something like "Lee," I think it works great. But my maiden name is certainly not a middle name, so it's maybe a little weird. But I don't care. I am going with it.

To further illustrate my complete aversion to change: I also don't like for the furniture to be moved. Once I (okay fine, we) figure out the best place for it to go, I think it should stay there. Because that is the BEST place for it, right? And if it isn't the best arrangement and this other way is so much better, why didn't we just arrange it the other way in the first place?

Usually when things (like moved furniture) are changed, I hate the new arrangement at first. It isn't until I adjust and get used to it that I make my peace.

I like constants. I like the perceived security that constants provide. But I married someone who would love to move not only the furniture, but would prefer if we could move to DIFFERENT COUNTRIES every couple years. [Yes, I love traveling to different countries (hi Asia!), but living there is a whole new story.] I knew this going in, and I knew that I didn't love change, but it's these little things that I've been holding on to that have surprised me.

Fortunately, marriage to Josh seems to be forcing me to release my white-knuckle-death-grip on everything within proximity and learn to loosen up a little bit. (I said a little bit, Josh.) Hey, I even agreed to rearrange the bedroom furniture a few weeks ago, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, I actually like it BETTER.

Am I a total freak? Validate me, please.

------------------------------------------------------------------
10 cool points to whoever caught the Friends reference in the title. Cool points may be claimed in the comments.

Meet Cody

2010-04-27T12:38:00.008-06:00

Let me introduce you to my brother-in-law, Cody.

This is his current profile picture on facebook. Classic Cody.

He's a Sergeant First Class in the Army, and is currently in Iraq on his second deployment. This guy is hilarious, and is one of the only people in the family who I can always count on to be a freak with me. He recently posted some pictures on facebook from Iraq that I thought just needed to be shared. Really, these pictures are the best way for you to get to know Cody better.

The caption Cody wrote beneath this photo: "Self explanatory (especially after beans and enchilada night at the chow hall)."

Hahahaha! Again - classic. (I still laugh every time I see that picture.)

"What the hell am I contemplating?"

It was the caption on this picture that got me. Can we all agree that a well-placed swear is sometimes just hilarious? Maybe it's just me...

Here's Cody on a burned-out Iraqi tank:

"Me and my 'Big Gun'."

A fellow military friend commented on this picture, saying, "Looks like someone is going to get an "F" in SERE training."

Cody's awesome response: "You mean 'F' for 'FABULOUS?!'"

Cody, to me, is the perfect blend of total crass ridiculousness combined with a completely beautiful heart. The guy can make anyone feel special, and can make friends anywhere, in any situation. Case in point:

Here he is with two Iraqi soldiers about to go out on mission. Maybe I'm just cheesy, but this photo really touched me.

They recently had a mission where they delivered school supplies to children alongside soldiers from the Iraqi army, and this is a photo Cody posted of him with one of the kids:

The caption for this one?

"A new friend and I."

I loved that. That sort of attitude truly demonstrates what I was talking about when I said he has a beautiful heart.

Here he is with another Iraqi soldier who I'm sure he now considers a friend.

And here he is teaching an Iraqi kid how to fist bump.

I seriously love and admire this guy. He's been a member of my family for almost 15 years, and had a wonderful impact on me growing up. I'm grateful for his willingness to sacrifice so much to do what he feels is right, and I especially love his patriotism.

Come home soon, Cody.

Yeah, I hate that.

2010-04-21T14:50:00.005-06:00

Don't you hate that feeling you get when you receive an email at work that goes to all the people listed on the customer care list (which happens to include an entire building and a few more), and after a brief look at the email you see that it is one that YOU actually sent that morning, that was informal and colloquial and intended for just one person's individual question, but is now being sent to EVERYONE as if you're the head dog and now dictate how an entire call center should be run?

You've never experienced that before?

Oh. Well, it is a bit surreal. And all I can think right now is, Oy.

Sometimes you just have to look at people and go, "Really?"

------------------------------------------

My apologies if this makes absolutely no sense to those who don't know details of my job, which is most of you. Just know that this whole thing kind of boggles my mind.

I am NOT making this up.

2010-04-20T11:48:00.007-06:00

WHEW! I'm feeling muuuch better now. I'm headed to Vegas tomorrow for work (I basically hate Vegas), but other than that things seem to be leveling out.

A lot has happened since I decided I hate my blog, so I think it'll be easier if I just pretend I was never absent, and start posting about the little things that happen every now and then. Just go with it, kapeesh? Kapeesh.

Josh and I moved in February to a place about 20 minutes south of where we were and I am loving it. Since we moved, Sundays, however, always seem to be a bit. . . interesting. Our new ward/stake has more than your average amount of -- let's go with "interesting" again -- folks. Take last Sunday for example:

There is an older man (late 60s probably?) I've noticed around who is obviously a little off, but he seemed well-meaning enough and like he just wants friends and attention. When Josh and I were exiting Sacrament meeting, he zipped by with a vacuum, cutting me off, as if wherever he was going was extremely important. After Josh and I got to Sunday School and I put down my stuff, I decided to go try to catch a member of the Bishopric to give him my tithing. As I entered the hall, Old Dude was trying to get in the cultural hall through a door that was clearly locked. (I say "clearly," because there was a huge sign on the door that said "STOP! DO NOT ENTER!!") He kept tugging at the door, pulling more and more violently and becoming increasingly angry. Just as I passed him, I hear him mumble, "Son of a bi***!"

I paused for a second, thinking, Did he really just say that? Naaaah, he must have said something else.

Then louder, and more irked than before, I hear him again: "Son of a bi***!"

Slightly amused, but also a little unnerved, I picked up my pace a bit. Old Dude started walking just as quickly, catching up to me right as he sniped, "Fu***in' dogsh*t!!" among other things -- IN CHURCH.

Me: ??????

I then tried to run away because, uh - what do you do in that situation?

Well, I did what I always do. I ran to Josh and said, "DUDE. I promise I am NOT making this up!"

An hour or two later when Josh and I got home, there were FOUR horses just meandering through the parking lot and grass of our apartment complex, with no people in sight.

That was just slightly less entertaining than the Sunday after Church when there was a cow loose in the park across the street, and no less than 6 cops, in full uniform, were all chasing it around trying to catch it.

Pictorial evidence from the car with the iPhone as we drove by (so quality is lacking):

Photos do not adequately capture the pure funny this truly was.

Seriously, people. I am NOT making this stuff up.

(Oh, and no picture of the horses. It seems these things now feel a bit commonplace so we don't even bother anymore.)

All those crazy pictures I take too often are suddenly so symbolic.

2010-03-09T17:03:00.005-07:00

I apologize for the few and far between posting lately. This is how I feel lately:

Yes, we are a very good looking family. (That's my dad.)

Things have been a bit crazy.

And I know that pictures of me usually look like this, but I don't usually feel like this.

Anyway...

Know that I am alive and kickin' and will hopefully be posting something at least mildly humorous on occasion soon. But I make no promises, and don't be surprised if I just pop up once a month or so. You'll still be my friend and be here when I blog more regularly again, yes?

P.S. Are you so tired of seeing wedding pictures and stuff yet?

Oh yeah. We went on a honeymoon.

2010-02-10T10:31:00.005-07:00

On the plane to Cancun. Thanks, Josh, for always being willing to take stunning pictures.

Have you ever been to Cancun? We wanted a beach destination and figured that Cancun was the cheap, faster version of Hawaii, so that's what we chose. I have to be honest, though, I still kind of thought it'd be a little...well....Mexico-y. Don't get me wrong, I love Mexico, but ya know what I mean, right?

Anyway.

Good news. Cancun is not really Mexico-y at all! Well, except for the vendors who yell at you, "Hey..ees my turn," and "Free beer!" as they try to entice you into their shops.

(Could this post be any less politically correct?)

Josh and I have both been to beaches all over the world, but I have to tell you, Cancun ranks right up there as one of the most beautiful. The water was the most beautiful shade of turquoise-ish blue I've ever seen, and it was so so clear. The white sand beaches were clean, crisp, and inviting, and the temperature of the water was PERFECT. I'm telling you, it was body temperature. It actually felt better than the pool water.

Because Cancun is, like I said, the cheaper version of Hawaii, we got to upgrade to one of the nicest rooms in the hotel, the Royal Tower (OOoooOOooo!), that was right on the beach. Here is the view from our balcony:

No joke, people. That was taken with my point-and-shoot Canon, and you know that beauty was not exaggerated by my photography skills. (HAH!)

Here's a glimpse of our room:

And this is our in-room huge jacuzzi. That open window space thing? It has an electronically retractable screen.

It was seriously awesome.

(Is it okay to brag this much? I'm hoping you'll let it slide since a honeymoon is supposed to be amazing, yes?)

This is a view of our hotel from a little restaurant we had lunch in:

Our room was in the building on the left.

In this restaurant, I wanted to get a cute picture of Josh and me. This is when Josh decided it was a good idea to let me know what I'd gotten myself into for the rest of my life.

Attempt 1:

Attempt 2:

Attempt 3:

"Seriously?":

But let's be honest - clearly I couldn't have expected the picture to be too cute since I was wet haired and in a swimsuit with runny makeup. Attractive!

Things that marriage has taught me

2010-01-18T14:25:00.003-07:00

Below is a list of ten things I have learned over my vast experience of almost 2 months of marriage. I thought you may be able to benefit from these lessons, too.

1. It probably isn't a good idea to quietly start shaving your new husband's back while he's turned away from you in the shower. Even if it needs it. Even if he let you shave it before the wedding. Even if you love him, hairy back or not, and tell him so. Even if he has a good sense of humor. I'm pretty sure it annoys him.

2. It probably isn't a good idea to do #1 again, thinking your new husband won't get annoyed since he managed to graciously laugh off the first time.

3. On second thought, just keep doing #1. It turns out he probably will get used to it and act like nothing is happening, and you will get what you want: a not-quite-as-"masculine"-back.

(Josh, you are ridiculously masculine and I love it! Promise. Don't be mad at me.)

4. It is nice to have a new husband around when you return from your honeymoon to a total INFESTATION OF MICE. You have to see far fewer dead mouse bodies when he's around. Except for that one that died at the foot of your side of the bed, but you didn't notice until after throwing all your blankets and sheets on top of it and then re-making the bed to see that you'd been kicking it around. But then it's nice to have a new husband around to comfort you when all you want to do is cry and dry heave.

5. Two twin beds pushed together is actually kind of nice. Sleepy time stays sleepy time better that way.

6. You may start considering the fact that you could have control issues. However, that point can be negated and you can be rest assured you are quite amicable if you relinquish the comb-in-the-drawer fight, and don't even think bad thoughts about him anymore when you see it in its now-permanent home on the bathroom counter. You let him win! That's not a control issue!

7. Just let him leave his dirty dishes in the sink. He probably won't load the dishwasher right anyway. (This isn't a control issue either. You are just really nice to not hassle him about his dishes.)

8. One single-people-money plus one single-people-money does not equal one married-people-money. Somehow one married-people-money is significantly smaller than the sum of two single-people-monies. Don't question the math. It is just miraculously true.

9. Realizing that you no longer have any events for which you want to be thinner may be quite a dangerous realization. You may end up stuffing your face with foods and ingredients you haven't indulged in so frequently in years. Let loose for a couple weeks, and then you can hit the gym again and cut back on the junk. Besides, if you carry those few extra pounds in the boobage, your new husband will probably love the new "diet" anyway.

10. Insert mother-in-law lesson here. For obvious reasons, this one should be left to your imaginations. This is a public blog, you know.

Hope these lessons help you as much as they are helping me in my adjustment!

--------------------------------------------------
POST-EDIT:

It has been brought to my attention that the fact that I shaved his back once before we were married may lead some to believe that we showered together before marriage. This is not so, my friends. I assure you we were entirely temple-worthy. That back-shaving took place at the sink.

How about some pictures?

2009-12-22T10:01:00.012-07:00

PEOPLE.

I am married. What the heck is that about?

Like, really. I am no longer Heather [redacted]. I'm not totally sure how I feel about losing that identity, but after almost 2 weeks Josh and I are still going strong!

We flew in from our honeymoon to Cancun late Sunday night, and after nearly everything that could go wrong actually did, I finally got to sleep only to have to get up early the next morning for work. I'm gonna be honest, I'm still trying to catch up on the last two weeks of work I missed, and with other obligations last night and again tonight, I've hardly had a chance to breathe and don't have much of an interest in blogging. I'll talk more about the wedding and festivities later, but for now I thought I'd post a few (maybe more than a few?) pictures. I'm sure that's what you'd rather see on here anyway.

Ok, let's be honest about this one for a sec. Chandler and Monica's engagement pictures, anyone? (Two links there - one to a picture, one to a video.) I'll admit I'm only posting it because I like the way I look. Snaps for Josh and being a good sport!

Ok, ok, to make things a little more fair, here's one where I think I look stupid.

I look like, "EEEEEEE!" with my neck all pulled back and my face looks huge. Don't deny it; it's true. But I love the tones of the image, so at least the photographer isn't a retard.

All images courtesy of Paxman Photography.

I hope you all have a wonderfully Merry Christmas!!

A weekend of fortunate mishaps

2009-11-30T13:42:00.004-07:00

Again, this picture has nothing to do with anything, but this is my way of including some engagement pictures of us over time without overloading them in one post.

It's been a friggin' month. Yikes, but things have been busy. Let me give you a quick update so you can rest assured that my life is as ridiculous as ever.

Josh and I drove to Arizona for Thanksgiving because Southwest Airlines hates me and wouldn't let me use my free flights without forcing me to take off 27 days of work, and any airfares were insanely high. Because I'm taking off so much time from work for the wedding and honeymoon, I don't have much time left, so we I went to work for a half-day on Wednesday and we left after that. I picked up my dress in Provo, while Josh ran some errands there, and we met at our old apartment building where Josh left his car in the underground garage and we continued from there.

The 13-hour drive was pretty uneventful until the flat tire about 12 hours in. At 1am. On the Reservation. I will spare you the details, but the good news is Josh and I still love each other! And I got good practice in with letting things go and putting a smile on my face and trying to not bring up the fact that the flat tire was totally avoidable.

(Except for right there when I felt the need to post that on the interwebs. I'm sorry, Josh, sometimes I just need a little redemption or something. Actually I'm not sure why I do things like that, but I'm still going to leave it and push "publish" anyway instead of deleting it. I didn't tell my family what happened like we agreed, so we're still good, right? Laugh? Please?)

The tire was not salvageable, so we had to get 2 new tires to keep them in pairs. But then the tire place's computer inventory was wrong, and they didn't actually have the tires for which we'd just paid. And since we had to drive home to Utah and were in a small town, we had to go with the only other tires they had that would work, which were bigger than the car's current tires, so we had to replace all 4 tires to keep them all the same size. (Still with me?) BUT! Blessing in disguise -- we would've had to get new tires eventually and the tire place ended up giving us a smokin' deal on the better, higher end, much more expensive tires since we now had to purchase 4 because of their boo boo. Go us and getting fancy tires for less than the others!

My close friend, Jenn, was throwing me a bridal shower while I was down there, but she ended up getting very very sick and couldn't do it. (Send love her way!) So my mom and sisters-in-law threw together a low-key, easy shower the day-of, and it was great. Thanks sisters-in-law and Mom!

But let's not forget the moment after our return from the shower, when I left the living room and re-entered to see Josh's horrified face announcing that he is leaving as he walks out the front door. I then turned to see my sister-in-law showing my dad some of the lingerie I got at the bridal shower. That is how my family rolls, people. (Update: Josh has since recovered.)

Then Josh got a speeding ticket on the way back, just an hour outside of Provo where we would part ways. I didn't do as good a job this time at not saying things akin to "I told you so." It turns out I'm a real joy at 12:30 in the morning when I've been trying to fall asleep and... excuse, excuse, excuse.

Then Josh and I parted ways in Provo and I continued the half-asleep hour drive to Salt Lake alone. (It's always kind of scary when you forget ever deciding to change lanes, etc, but I made it!) Then when I got to my apartment, I realized that the coat I had forgotten in Arizona had my apartment keys in the pocket. So Josh, who had just arrived home himself, had to turn around and make the 20-minute drive to let me in. But he did it without complaint. And bonus for me - I didn't have to carry my stuff in from the car!

Hmm.. As I recount the details of this trip, I realize it was more a trial for Josh than anyone, I am sure, but he is a trooper and I love him more than ever. I could tell you more about the things that went wrong, but I've already bored you enough as it is. I've lost my flair to tell a good story on here.

But know what else?

I'M GETTING MARRIED IN TEN DAYS, PEOPLE.

We're flying back to Arizona this coming Friday night and the next week is full of wedding stuff. So don't expect to hear from me again for awhile.

TEN! DAYS!

Post-edit:

I almost forgot to tell you about the cute twenty-something girl in her little VW bug on the drive, who I saw pick her nose AND EAT IT. Then, as I was about to pee my pants from laughter and yelling at Josh to look, she so graciously stuck her finger in her mouth again, scraping her fingernail on her teeth to get it all, so Josh got to see it, too! Then that opened up a very sophisticated conversation about nose-picking and booger-eating. Josh and I are quite the match, I tell you.

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-29T15:52:00.000-06:00

Today I am thankful that vending machine treats are grossly overpriced. Fortunately, the cheap-wad inside of me can usually beat up the fat kid inside of me, and the possible repercussions of the vending machine are avoided. And that's just a win-win for everybody.

I shall protest and pretend it is not happening and good things will happen.

2009-10-27T13:19:00.006-06:00

This morning in the shower I thought, "Hey! I'm gonna wear a cute, twirly skirt to work today because, ya know, it's going to be winter soon and I will then be relegated to practical clothing." ("Practical clothing" was nearly a swear word (swear phrase?) in my vocabulary prior to my move to Utah, but progress has been made.)

I donned my cute, only-worn-once-before, twirly skirt and proceeded to get ready for the day. It's pretty springy, but I thought I could pretend it's appropriate for autumn, too.

Twirling my way (not really) into the living room with my gloriously huge picture window, I noticed it was a little darker than usual outside as I sat on the couch to commence my daily morning reading before work. After awhile, I started to hear neighbor kids squealing, which was quite odd as I never hear them in the mornings. After some time, the squealing seemed to be multiplied with more children chiming in, and then it morphed in to a sort of chanting.

Okay, chanting sounds really creepy, and all children-of-the-corn like. I'm talking about the type of singing kids do on the playground in their little sing-song voices. ANYWAY.

While trying to focus on the Written Word, but simultaneously trying to figure out what in the heck is going on, I concluded that possibly they were just playing and started making fun of some kid, hence the chant-like singing. (Not creepy.) My inherent nature to always defend the underdog was gettin' all riled up, ready to go beat up some little kids (not really), when I thought I deciphered them singing about rain or something.

And that is when my heart dropped in realization.

People. It's a friggin' blizzard outside. In October. Before Halloween.

WHAT HAPPENED TO FALL???? Sad face.

Well, I decided to not change out of my springy twirly skirt to signify my protest and as a a way of telling the snow to suck it. (I am so classy.)

On my drive to work (in the snow that I pretended wasn't there), I suddenly felt bad for being so ungrateful when I am so blessed. I said a little prayer apologizing for my thought process and pressed on. Then I get to work, and ya know what happened??

I get an email in my inbox from Southwest Airlines (who I was recently contemplating starting to hate) saying they're having a sale for flights starting at TWENTY-FIVE FLIPPING DOLLARS.

Well, Southwest email, I have been waiting for good flight prices to travel to and from my wedding so I don't have to drive (me no likey driving), so I love you so much I could makeout with you if it wouldn't make Josh mad! (He's the jealous type.) I clicked right through, and whatdayaknow the dates for the fare are valid just around the dates I need for the wedding. Woohoo! And not only that, after skipping some dates in which they are not valid, the sale fares were good again on the dates for my Utah reception so my parents could also purchase cheapo flights to come here!

Tender mercy, indeed, my friends! I'm thinking that Heavenly Father likes attitude adjustments. Or something. Any way you want to read it, all this good fortune is making it basically impossible for me to be upset about the snow.

So! If you wanna travel from December 1st through the 16th, or from January 5th through February 10th, you should totally check this out. Be quick, though - it's only good through this Thursday, the 29th. The website has been pretty packed with traffic, so you may encounter some errors, but keep trying my friends - you'll get through eventually.

And all I can now say about the snow now is:

YAY FOR A DECEMBER WEDDING IN ARIZONA!!!!

And this picture really has nothing to do with this post, but I just think we are pretty adorable, if I do say so myself. Plus, he is the REAL REASON I have no reason to be upset about the snow, as he makes my life pretty darn fantastic.

The album

2009-10-15T15:31:00.003-06:00

Ok, my friends, I've posted pretty much all the pictures I like on facebook. Rather than bog this place down with all of them, I'm just going to link you there. So, if you're interested, check it out.

If not, well then, you're kind of poopy and I didn't want you to look at them anyway.

I'm hoping this will work, but I'm not really sure if it will because of all the facebook who-can-see-your-stuff rules. Let me know if it doesn't work, or request to be my friend and it will. Or if it doesn't work and you know how to make it work let me know that too.

The announcement photo

2009-10-14T16:08:00.008-06:00

Kyle is fantastic and has already finished editing our choices for the pictures. (Seriously, we told him which ones on Monday night.) So now we need your help choosing a picture for our wedding announcement.

Which of these do you think works best?

Then there's this whole series that we both think turned out just great.

Yes, I am kidding. None of these will be used for the announcement.

Oh, and yes, that expression on my face in the second picture where he's kissing me on the cheek was an intentional silly face. I really am not that alarmed if he tries to kiss me.

Sneak peek

2009-10-13T11:06:00.002-06:00

Here's a shot from our photo shoot with Kyle last weekend.

We are exceptionally good looking people, if I do say so myself.

Well, at least when we're shot without detail and you can only see the outline of us and we have an awesome photographer's skills helping out and a pretty sunset and landscape to distract. But whatever. I'll take what I can get.

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-08T14:00:00.010-06:00

Today I am grateful for:

1. This picture.

Source: Baby's first WTF moment

Because for real, people - that is funny. And how could it not just make you a little happier today?

2. Talented and generous friends. My friend, Kyle, has been working on developing his newfound photography talent, and I just loooove his style. He has a focus on nature and the sort of details that I, too, am drawn to in photographs. The growth he has exhibited in the last year seriously blows me away. Right now he is building up his portrait portfolio so he can have something to show potential clients, so he offered to take Josh and my pictures for free this weekend for us to possibly use as engagement pictures. UM, HELLO, YES, AND THANK YOU, OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE TO BE SUBJECT TO YOUR AWESOME TALENT.

I say "possibly" because one of my BFFs, Michael, already agreed to take our engagement pictures and will be doing so next weekend. As you may or may not know, Michael has a BFA in Photography from BYU, has had several projects with national exposure, and is currently working to move to NYC to pursue his dream of fashion photography. He is fabulous. (Or, as he and I might say privately, he is fagnificent!) (Michael, am I in trouble for writing that on the internets?) So now we get TWO photo sessions with TWO talented photographers with TWO different styles.

I ADORE THEM BOTH.

And really, you should too. Just sayin'.

Oh, and because we're discussing Michael's genius skills, I just have to insert my claim to fame, courtesy of him, right here. For his final project he did this amazing murder series, and I got to model for it. Here is my shot:

What, you don't see me? I'm the grandma legs!

I know, I was really flattered when he asked me to model for that role.

I have to say, though, that in other photos I tried to add a certain something to the role by contorting my legs all funkily (and impressively I might add), but apparently it was "too much." Oh, the woe of us models being limited in our creative expressions.

Wedding dress? Check.

2009-10-07T16:45:00.003-06:00

So I got my dress.

WOOT!

Huge sigh of relief that that chore is over.

And hey, it was actually sort of fun, too.

Crazily enough, I found it in the first store. THE FIRST STORE, PEOPLE. It freaked me out and since I am so good at making decisions that involve big commitments (hello facetiousness!) I couldn't bring myself to buy it at first. I had to check out other dresses at other stores to be sure that I wasn't just "getting it over with" or settling or something, and the method of going elsewhere confirmed it for me. We promptly returned to the store, and snatched that baby up.

My mom was so great during the whole thing. My bridal consultant was sooo impressed and I was just like, "What? That's just how my mom is..." (Oh, how I take her amazingness for granted.) She never pushed me to do what she wanted, but would offer appropriate insights here and there. When I would consider the prices of a dress and hem haw about this or that my mom said something to the effect of, "Heather, I am not looking at the prices. We are looking for the best dress for you, and the price is an afterthought."

But before you start thinking I am the most spoiled person ever, my tastes in dresses were on the simpler side and they were never over $1000 so although ~~spoiled~~ well taken care of, I'm not like those girls on "Say Yes to the Dress" with a "small" $5000 budget. (It's a dress, people!)

Seriously, I could tell you more stories about her greatness, but it's been 2 weeks and I forget. (Blog more often, dummy, and it'll be more entertaining because you'll actually remember stuff!)

So we have this heartwarming moment about how I shouldn't worry about the money (I'm a money worrier), and then we go to the whole payment thing. The chick at the counter asks for the method of payment and I look at my mom, who was already looking expectantly at me. I had a brief moment of panic and the little girl feeling of, "Really? I'm paying for it?" immediately followed by the snotty no wonder you're not worried about how much it costs if I'm paying for it feeling. Then I remembered that my mother had already so kindly agreed to put wedding expenses on my Southwest Airlines credit card and pay them off each month so I could get free flights.

Hmm. That story was funnier if you were there. And it'd probably be funnier if I told it better, too.

Anyway, it was great. And it's done. And I'm getting married in approximately 63.5 days. Huzzah!

Oh, and sorry - no pictures. Joshy reads this blog, ya know, and I'd like to save some sort of excitement for the wedding. (I won't mention that even if I wanted to show you pictures I couldn't because I forgot my camera and have no pictures of the dress.)

But to appease the lack of picture-ness of the dress, here is a picture of me shooting a gun.

Why a picture of me shooting a gun? Yeah, I don't know.

Thankful Thursday

2009-09-24T16:11:00.003-06:00

Today I am grateful that my mom is currently on a plane to come visit me! Woo woo! I haven't seen her in quite awhile, and she hasn't been to Utah to see me in even longer, so I'm excited for us to hang out. We're going wedding dress shopping (eek!), so wish me luck. It's weird, but this is one thing I have been dreading. Hopefully my really low expectations will aid in making things more enjoyable...please?

Oh, and sorry to leave you hanging with the story. The next day I came down with something that I'm pretty sure was tonsilitis. Seriously, people, my tonsils were soooo huge. (I have a picture, but I will spare you.) I could hardly eat for a week, and it just made me really miserable and not in the mood to excitedly recount a story.

The Details Win Out

2009-09-11T14:10:00.007-06:00

Most of you mentioned you'd like more details, and my clever friend, Rachel, so wisely advised:

"This is your blog so seriously... write down EVERYTHING and ANYTHING you want. My blog has everything on it rather people like it or not because its a history of me... and my life. I want to remember it all."
(If you're looking for a blog to stalk, give Rachel a try. Seriously. She's clever, funny, raw, and REAL. Do it.)

Aaaaanyway, back to Josh and me. Let me just [Ctrl] C [Ctrl] V what I wrote before for a little refresher. Feel free to skim.

Long-time blog readers may remember that I wasn't a Josh-lover in the beginning. In fact, I was kind of a big fat snot. (But not totally; I had legit concerns, it was just the way I handled it on the blog that was snotalicious.) I didn't think that I liked him, but I wanted to give him a chance because you never know if your mind could change. That first date he surprised me. A lot.

He'd noticed me reading my scriptures outside every day, so he picked up on the fact that I loved being outdoors in peaceful settings, drinking in my surroundings. So for that first date we picked up P.F. Chang's, and he took me up a canyon to a beautiful wooded area and we had a little picnic. I was so surprised by how totally easy he was to talk to, and how I hardly knew him but still felt like I could say pretty much anything to him. I had a delightful time (I know, who says "delightful" besides 85 year old women named Etta? But it is the best word to describe it), and we ended up dragging the date on. After it was over, I knew I'd had a good time, but I still didn't really think anything would work out with us.

(New stuuuuuuuuuuff- GO!)

The next day he followed up with a text saying he'd had a good time, and inserting appropriate flirty phrases. He had just bought Rock Band after we'd discussed it a lot, because I was currently involved in a competition at work. (I may or may not have been excited he had it so I could ~~use him for~~ get more practice time.) I must say I was impressed with his date etiquette in following up, and I chose to ignore the fact that I was a little excited he was texting me.

He texted me after Church the following day saying my hair looked beautiful, and making other flirty contact. I had him wrapped around my finger.

Or so I thought.

He asked me out again for the next weekend, and we went to dinner, chilled at Rock Canyon Park talking whilst enjoying the overlooking view of Provo, then went to his apartment to watch a movie. He'd been getting closer and closer all night, so I knew that he'd probably try to make a move during the movie. Still unsure of how I felt, but mostly sure I wasn't interested, get this - I sat on a different couch. Laid out on it. So he couldn't even sit next to me. Harsh, I know. He later told me that it confused him a lot.

After that date, I'd decided I wouldn't accept another. He was cool, I had fun with him, but I just wasn't "into him romantically." (Ho, ho, ho.) It was still obvious he liked me, though, and there were a few times when he'd pop over as part of the groups who'd visit periodically throughout the week. (This is when I exhibited my embarrassing snotiliciousness.) I was convinced he'd ask me out again, and considered how I'd let him down.

The week went on with no word from him. Friday came, and still no date invitation.

What?

I was bugged. And a little bugged that I was bugged.

This is Exhibit A evidencing that Josh knows how to play the game, my friends.

The next day, Saturday, my roommate, Whitney, had to do her mom a favor and sell tickets at an event in Salt Lake. Since I had no other plans (grumble, grumble), I joined her.

After the concert started we were just waiting in the lobby until intermission. Bored, I coyly suggested to Whitney that we mess with Josh. (What a sweetie I am.) We decided that we'd send him texts from my phone to mess with him, but then later I could claim that Whitney did it under the guise that it was without my knowledge. Whitney, of course, would actually send the texts so we wouldn't actually be lying, and we used a couple of her catch-phrases so it'd be more believable.

(Oy, Whitney and I were a little out of control while together.)

But Josh proved to be smarter than I thought. And it may or may not have backfired a little bit.

To be continued...

Thankful Thursday

2009-09-10T09:39:00.004-06:00

Ah, beloved Thankful Thursday. You have been missing for quite some time as I was basking in my lame-o-ness. Welcome back.

This week I am thankful:

That I finally have a ring on my finger! (WOO WOO!!!) I thought we were basically engaged before and if someone asked me about my plans or whatever, we weren't so secretive that we wouldn't say that we already had a date and stuff. But I always felt a little weird saying that we were engaged with my bare finger, and I was totally dying to make the formal announcement. And now I have a ring, I have a ring, I have a ring, hey hey hey hey! (Thank you, Little Rascals.)

That I'm finally losing this weight I've put on, and am thisclose to my Pre-Josh weight. Just in time for wedding dress shopping (WOO WOO!!). My body is kind of weird when it comes to losing weight. Usually I have to be diligent in working out and eating right for 3 or 4 months, seeing virtually no results, then out of nowhere it's like the weight just falls off. I'm all for the falling off, but sometimes it's hard to remain motivated and diligent when it seems to be doing no good. I am also grateful to have recognized this pattern so it helps make it a little easier. I'm one of those who gains weight if I think about food, but at least I can usually get it off.

That I have been in such a good mood lately and it's really really hard to upset or annoy me. (Josh is really grateful for this, too.) It's so weird and I can't figure out why in the heck I am in such a good mood. (Sarcasm, obviously.) I don't really feel like I'm giddy, but I suppose that I sort of am. Yesterday I was trying to talk to a co-worker who is relatively new in the office, and I kept getting distracted, pausing mid-sentence and losing my train of thought (because Josh and I were discussing honeymoon options on gchat) (WOO WOO!!). I finally was just like, "Argh, I'm sorry. I'm really distracted," then to make fun of myself I stopped, stared at my ring and said, "Ooo, pretty!" My co-worker said, "I've never seen you so giddy!" and apparently I've been a delight (seriously, Heather. Stop using that word) to be around. Woo woo for being pleasant!

Wow. This is getting a little out of hand. I think I'm almost annoyed with me and, like I said before, it's basically impossible to annoy me right now so that's saying something.

Will you guys still be my friends when I chill out? Kthanksomuch.

The one in which I struggle with how many details are annoying, and how many details are fun.

2009-09-07T10:09:00.009-06:00

He loves having his picture taken, and is so cooperative. Even after he just proposed marriage to me.
But ya know, whatever Josh. When you make faces like that, they're still going on the blog so it's your bad.

A few reasons why Josh's proposal to me was unique:

He didn't really ask.
And I didn't really answer.

The significance of him not asking is much cuter if you know us and our history well, so let me try to give a little background.

Long-time blog readers may remember that I wasn't a Josh-lover in the beginning. In fact, I was kind of a big fat snot. (But not totally; I had legit concerns, it was just the way I handled it on the blog that was snotalicious.) I didn't think that I liked him, but I wanted to give him a chance because you never know if your mind could change. That first date he surprised me. A lot.

He'd noticed me reading my scriptures outside every day, so he picked up on the fact that I loved being outdoors in peaceful settings, drinking in my surroundings. So for that first date we picked up P.F. Chang's, and he took me up a canyon to a beautiful wooded area and we had a little picnic. I was so surprised by how totally easy he was to talk to, and how I hardly knew him but still felt like I could say pretty much anything to him. I had a delightful time (I know, who says "delightful" besides 85 year old women named Etta? But it is the best word to describe it), and we ended up dragging the date on. After it was over, I knew I'd had a good time, but I still didn't really think anything would work out with us.

Holy cow, this "little background info" is turning into quite the story. I keep thinking of more and more things I have to tell you in order for you to truly understand the end of the story. Ugh. I'm a long story-teller.

Umm.. would you guys like to hear the whole story? I can break it up into multiple posts if so... otherwise I can just cut to the chase. Let me know, because for now I'm cutting to the chase.

Ahem.

He didn't really ask.
After a short speech and tender expressions of feelings he pulled out the ring and said, "I'm not asking. I'm telling you. You're gonna marry me." And he slipped the ring on my finger.

I laughed when he said that, and was about to respond but the ring totally and completely distracted me. Instead, my response was, "It's GINORMOUS!!!"

And for the next hour it seemed that "huge," "ginormous," "freakin' ridiculous," and similar words and phrases were the only ones in my English-freak-I-really-did-graduate-college-on-academic-scholarship vocabulary.

But I'm not kidding, people. It is freaking ridiculous. These pictures don't even do it justice.

Last night we had dinner with a bunch of Josh's extended family, and one of his little cousins said, "That's the biggest diamond I've ever seen!"

No kidding, man. I almost feel a little silly with this huge thing on my finger.

ALMOST.

I really am not trying to brag.
(Huh? I guess bragging just comes naturally? What does that even mean?)

Let's not even talk about the wedding band yet. (Oh my goodness, people.)

Okay, everyone, let's all be super impressed with Joshy's spoiling me. I made him wait a long ol' time and he still spoiled the crap out of me.

Side-note: I'm kind of worried as I post all this stuff because I'm not sure how many details are appreciated and fun, and when it starts breaching into annoying territory. So I'm gonna leave details at that. If you want more, just ask, and I'll happily oblige.

The one you thought would never come

2009-09-05T21:45:00.002-06:00

I am engaged!

I know what you're thinking: Whaaaa? That totally came out of NOWHERE!

I know, I know. Things have moved incredibly fast, but we "just know it's right."

Ho, ho, ho, I'm such a smart alleck.
(Josh, do you want to punch me in the face for my facetiousness yet? Thanks for waiting more than a year!)

(No, Josh has never hit me. And he wouldn't. But sometimes I like to ask him if he wants to punch me in the face, and he hates it when I do. Which I then think secretly makes him want to punch me in the face much more. Oh, how I crack myself up.)

Oh, and apologies if I directly just made fun of you right there with the whole "we just know" thing, and you also want to slap me a little bit. But hey, it's my blog. Neiner neiner. And I'm engaged.

Woo woo!

December 10th, Mesa Arizona Temple.

Woot woot!

Confession: The Temple has been scheduled for almost a month now, and remember how I moved? Yeeeeaah, I moved to the apartment we'll be living in together after marriage. So we've basically been engaged for awhile now. We were just waiting on the ring and official proposal to make the formal announcement. I was pretty dang tired of being patient waiting for the ring and to make the announcement, but every time I got the urge to complain, I remembered Josh's patience over the past year and decided to shut up and let him have this one request. But this is it, Josh! You're not getting your way ever again!

I kid, people. Quit judging.

I'm getting married! Woo woo!!!!!

This is probably only the first of many (maaaany) spaztastic posts to come. I'll try to tone it down, folks. I promise.

Hey, look! I posted in August!

2009-08-31T10:02:00.003-06:00

Saturday night/Sunday morning, around 2:30am, I am woken up by the intermittent beeping of the smoke/heat alarm in my bedroom in my new apartment. (Oh yeah, I moved to Salt Lake.) On top of this, when it wakes me up I'm thinking, Geez, it's HOT in here! Somewhat confused, I try to look at my alarm clock on the bedside table to see what time it is, but for some weird reason I can't see it anywhere. I then try to turn on the light.

Nothing. The power is out.

I start looking for my phone to use as my flashlight, but I hadn't put it to charge next to my bed so I had no idea where it was. The moon was sort of bright that night, so I opened my blinds and used what little light was streaming in so it wasn't pitch black, and proceed to roam my obstacle-laden apartment with still unpacked boxes in search of my phone. I still can't find it.

At this point, I'm getting really frustrated because ya know.. it's freaking 90 degrees in my apartment, something keeps beeping, I have no power and can't see a thing, and I can't find my phone. Plus, I tend to get a little unreasonable when I'm really tired, and sometimes have a desire to panic and freak out when things aren't going how I want them to. I know this about myself, so I'm talking myself out of the panic, reminding myself that it isn't a big deal.

Then I see my laptop and think, Genius! I'll use that as a flashlight! I turn it on, open a Word document so it's a white screen, and then I wander the apartment for another 10 minutes or so until I finally find my phone. Hallelujah!

I try calling Josh... not really sure why... to complain and stuff, I guess? but he doesn't answer because, ya know, it's 2:45 am.

I then find a chair to climb up on and try to figure out the alarm. Maybe it just needs to be reset or something, I think, and I hold down the reset button until the intermittent beeping stops and then the full-fledged ear-piercing alarm starts in, and goes off as if there's a fire for 3 or 4 minutes.

At this point, I was ready to throw in the towel, but continued to talk myself out of the freak out.

I call Josh again and leave a message asking if I can come sleep at his mom's house if he ever wakes up and gets it.

Determined to not be out-witted by the alarm, I climb back up there, try disconnecting it but nothing. I finally find where the battery is located and pop it out, and YAY! The crazy alarm stops going off. But then, as I'm holding the battery in my hand, it beeps again. Yes, the intermittent beep again.

Are you kidding?

Seriously, people. I am Phoebe.

(Except I would like to point out that I was worse off because I had no lights and it was friggin' hot.)

I then try to go online to find the power company's phone number to let them know the power is out, but I am reminded that I only have wireless internet. And the power is out. So the router doesn't work.

Yaaaaay.

I try calling Josh again, and this time he finally answers. I relate my plight and he says, "Happy birthday!"

Did I mention that Sunday was my birthday? Happy birthday to me!

The intermittent beeping finally seemed to have stopped after a bit. I suppose the battery charge just needed to wear off or something. So Josh looks up the power company's phone number for me, and we hang up with another happy birthday wish. The power company didn't seem to know about the outage yet, and said they'd send someone soon to fix it. Finally things seem to be looking up.

I opened up the windows in hopes the apartment would cool off, and tried to go back to sleep hoping the sweating would stop soon.

At this point I'm clearly awake, so it takes a bit to fall asleep. My apartment is within a townhouse, and I share a common hallway with other tenants. I hear someone in the hallway, probably checking out the power outage themselves or trying to figure out what all that beeping was about, and I am reminded that my apartment entrance door only has a push-button lock. So then, in my middle-of-the-night logic, I start feeling a little uneasy as I realize how anyone could easily break in my apartment and slaughter me. I try to soothe myself by saying that I'll ask the landlord to install a deadbolt this week.

I finally got to sleep, and when I woke up in the morning I was in an amazingly chipper mood, and the power was back on. It was almost as if nothing happened. In fact, I almost forgot it happened.

Seriously, so weird.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to write an email to my landlord about that deadbolt.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

2009-07-31T10:09:00.007-06:00

Today is our anniversary.

Did you hear that, people? ONE YEAR.

That is nuts.

And pretty friggin' sweet, eh? Not too many Mormon folk can say they dated a year - especially in Utah.

I have to admit that I am a bit hoity-toity about this fact, and love that we can claim to be "smart." Now, Josh? Uh, not so much...

I have been reminding him of this day for weeks now. Maybe even a month or two. I am no fool (we have been dating a year after all), and know better than to expect him to just remember. I have mentioned that Friday was the day at least 5 times this week. Here is our conversation on the way home from church on Sunday. I think it beautifully illustrates our differing perspectives:

Me: Joshyyy... (in a sing-song voice). Friday is our anniversary.
Josh: And? It's not a real anniversary. I only count the real ones - which is marriage.

And the sweet sentiments continued from there.

Then later that night I brought it up again.

Me: Josh, I know you think it's dumb but I hope you can recognize that it's important to me and we can at least do something because of that. It is pretty cool, even if we're not married.
Josh: I just don't like it.
Me: Why???
Josh: Because all it does is remind me that we're not married yet. And that I've been waiting forever and still haven't managed to get you to marry me.

All together now: Awwwww.

Post-script:
I know you all are wondering when the marriage thing will happen, and I am sure that most of you want to ask but don't want to be annoying because you're sure we hear it all the time, etc, etc. So to answer your question without forcing you to ask it: Soon. It will happen soon.

And if that frustrates you, you're only getting a tiny taste of Josh's existence the past I-don't-know-how-many months. Everyone send happy thoughts his way!

The obligatory post so yesterday's isn't so annoying

2009-07-17T10:46:00.017-06:00

So, did I kind of annoy you yesterday by my fake-out post? I figured I should do a real one so it's only partially annoying instead of ultimately annoying, even though I thought I was pretty funny. I've just gone so long without blogging that now I feel like I have to have something pretty good/funny before I should bother updating again. Then when something really good comes along, it's something that would either disturb you and cause you to stop being my friend, or it's something that you can't really publicly share. Hence, week after week of nothing.

So, I apologize to those of you who actually have faith in me and continue to click over here, day after day, to find nothing. I am a loser.

But you knew that.

Know that I shall try to do better.

And by "do better", I mean that I'll probably post about boring stuff until maybe I get my funny bone back.

Any tips on how to get funny again? And to want to blog again? Anyone? Bueller?

See, that totally wasn't funny. I'm trying too hard.

Another thought - maybe you guys didn't really think I was all that funny before. Hmmmm...

Ok, boring post to bring this place back to life!

A couple of weeks ago, Josh and I dug into his old Lego stash and went to town. And by "went to town," I mean we tinkered around for like 30-45 minutes until getting bored.

When I was little, I aaaalways made a pyramid of Legos with the small square base. I think part of this was because I was child number 7 so the Lego stash was seriously depleted by the time I could play with them so we didn't have many options, and partly because I saw my older sister making a pyramid once and I thought it was so cool. So that is what I set out to do. It's tradition, ya know.

My completed pyramid.

It wasn't nearly as hard as I remember. Nor as gratifying. And I didn't feel half as ingenious as I used to when I set out on my mission to build like the Egyptians.

Josh, however, set to building cities and boats and other things that I wasn't really paying that much attention to because I was building my awesome pyramid. And making sumo dudes.

After my pyramid was completed, I found a weird little piece that looked kind of interesting, and popped the hat off of one of Josh's pirate dudes to see if it could like hair.

Ha, ha, ha. It still cracks me up.

For some reason, I thought this was totally hilarious, and looked like a sumo wrestler's hair. So then I found a little piece that could maybe be the ponytail thing sticking up.

Ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho!

I thought my little sumo-man head was soo funny slash awesome and said while giggling, "Hey Josh! Isn't this cool! It's a sumo dude!"

Then I laughed to myself some more.

Josh: "Except the top part is fanned out and it doesn't look like a sumo head at all."
Me: "But the hair does!" And I giggled to myself a little more.

After gleaning sufficient entertainment from my sumo-who-didn't-look-sumo-to-anyone-else man, I began taking pictures of myself as entertainment:

Did you know I can touch my nose with my tongue?

And, uh.. look creepy while doing it? Yeah, I have a pretty awesome tongue. And that's like the most boring thing I can do with it.

But that's another post for another time.

Remembering...

2009-07-16T15:36:00.001-06:00

Remember when I used to write stuff on here and it was mildly entertaining?

Ah, those were the good ol' days.

Mornings with my dad

2009-06-24T14:12:00.011-06:00

Before it goes too much longer, I thought I'd share some of my favorite memories of my dad and me, and the special mornings we had on a regular basis. If you know him (or think you know him), I'm pretty sure these little facts will surprise ya. I'm telling you, he's not as gruff as he seems.

When I was little, my dad was always the first one up, and I was usually the second. On Saturday mornings, I would go into the living room where my mom's karaoke machine was (soo high-tech for the 90s), pop in her accompaniment tapes, grab that microphone, and sing my little heart out. It never failed that after a little while, my dad would saunter in. He's not really a singer, but he would always sing "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" with me. I looooved having a partner to sing the boy parts while I sang the girl parts.

He's not really one for pictures, so I have very few. This is slightly blurry because I was way away, zooming in, hoping to catch him looking off. He turned right as I was snapping. I suppose this one is better anyway. :)

Growing up my dad was always the Executive Secretary for our ward. So on Sunday mornings, you could usually find him at the kitchen table with the electric typewriter, one-finger-pecking out documents. I have always been a fantastic speller and let's just say that my dad is... not. (He's pretty horrible actually, but it's endearing.) Even as a 7 or 8 year old, I sit with him while he pecked things out. He'd ask me how to spell words, and I'd happily respond. It only occurred to me now that maybe he really knew how to spell all those words and was just helping me feel special. Either way, I love that.

Nearly every morning he'd sing a little song to me while he went about his business. Although it's sooo much better if you can hear the tune, the words go like this:

Heado (that's Heather, if you couldn't tell) was a good ol' girl, ol' girl
Heado was a good ol' girl
Heado used to carry my books to school
Heado was a good ol' girl.

A couple months ago I mentioned this to Josh, and he now sings this song to me.

More little things about my dad keep coming to me, but I'll leave it at that for now.

Although I didn't always recognize it when I was young, I had a pretty fantastic dad. Now that I've gotten older and remember all these cute little things he did just for me, I'm awed because I now understand that those aren't things that every dad does. Just loving, cute, thoughtful ones.

Love you, Dad. Hope Father's Day was great.

No, I did not still take the pill.

2009-06-18T09:17:00.011-06:00

Soooooo...

I go AWOL for awhile, and now I'm back with a bang. I should warn you, however, that the following story has references to boobs, smells, and is possibly slightly inappropriate for a public setting, but I do what I can to finally have a traditional Heather Show story to tell. If any of these things bother you, move along, folks. Just move along.

So you chose to read on, eh? Well, by doing so, you are agreeing to not judge me.

Kapeesh?

Kapeesh.

Proceed.

So this morning I'm heading off to work with 14 things in my hands. I need to grab a pill to take with me, but since it was just one pill, I didn't want to grab the whole bottle. I had no pockets in this outfit, so I used my God-given pocket for temporary keeping.

Those of you who have never met me in person should know that I have, ahem, quite a large "pocket."

You get what I'm saying, right? I hate when you keep talking about something in a vague way thinking that everyone is with you, but really they're not and you just look a doofus. Maybe I should spell it out to avoid this embarrassment - cleavage. I put in my cleavage, ok? A pill whose granulated contents are encased in plastic was in the cleave. I thought that as soon as I wasn't carrying 28 things, I would take it out and put it in a more appropriate place.

Anyway...

I get to work, and it's flipping 80-something degrees in here. I should note that usually it's so cold in here that I require a ski parka and blanket wrapped around my legs, so I wore wool pants and a heavy shirt because, ya know, you can do that here in June.

I am not kidding you people, I am roasting in here. Every single person who walks by is talking to someone else about how hot it is in here. Someone called Facilities to see what is up, so I just go about my bid-nass, confident we'll feel more comfortable soon.

Well, here I am, working (read: getting in my daily blog-reading) and I realize that something is sort of itchy in the cave. I casually scratch a little bit and feel something odd.

It's then that I realize that I totally forgot about the pill.

I look down and the plastic casing has totally melted on the skin-touching side, and is now GLUED to the boobage.

After prying it off, there are now remnants of the granulated contents all down my chest. And let me tell you, people, IT STINKS. They have that plastic casing there for a reason.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to retreat to the bathroom stall with some paper towels and a little squirt of handsoap. It's only 9am and I am not smelling this junk all day.

Oh, and as pictorial evidence...

Yes, those little granules are part of the smelly insides.

Is this picture too far?

Meh, oh well. I figure if this story bugs ya, we're probably not friends in real life anyway.

Happy Thursday!

Have you ever flown at sunset?

2009-06-06T10:15:00.000-06:00

Because you totally should.

Mmmm. Sunbeams.

Oooo. Clouds.

Awwww. Mountains.

Cooool. Another airplane.

My point-and-shoot and lack of editing know-how just doesn't do the experience justice.

Thankful Thursday - a day late

2009-06-05T12:59:00.007-06:00

Yesterday itself was a pretty fantastic day.

I:

Had dinner with a childhood BFF and talked for 2 hours. She is funny, down-to-earth, and I absolutely adore how she just tells it like it is, even if it's about her. Sooo refreshing.

Sold the Bug. (Bittersweet.)

Didn't get tired at all during my run and went way longer than I was scheduled to.

Received an email from the producers of SYTYCD letting me know they're giving me FOUR tickets to the first taping of the Top 20! Woot woot! It's taking place on Tuesday (they always give short notice) so I'm not sure if I'll be able to make the plans to go, but it's super fun to have the option.

And all of this happened last night after 6pm. Good day much?

Thankful Thursday

2009-05-21T10:49:00.005-06:00

Two Thankful Thursdays in a row. I'm turning into a pretty awful blogger. Meh.

This week I'm thankful fooooooor:

1. The Real Salt Lake game.

My company is the main sponsor of RSL, and last week I ended up with 6 free tickets in primo seats. Suh-WEET! We hit Texas Roadhouse before the game, then sat in the new stadium in the fantastic weather. I could tell you more about it, but my friend, DeeAura, already documented the event, and did it much more cleverly and funnily than I would. (Plus, I'm lazy.) Go check it out there, yo. For my part, I'll just include some pictures here that Dee didn't have.

Bronwyn and Michael rock my world.

Jenn and I were only roommates for about 4 months, but she is the bomb dot com.
(Go ahead and deduct 87 cool points for my use of that phrase.)

Once again, Josh and I document how intensely attractive we are.
Mmmm... And I am toootally rocking that double chin.

Ok, really now. Go check out the real post about the game. This way you'll also be able to experience DeeAura's awesomeness firsthand.

2. SYTYCD is back. I'm not into American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, America's Got Talent, or any of the other shows like it, but SYTYCD is one of the highlights of every summer for me. It is the stuff of life. You may remember when I mentioned that I bought a VCR (I'll pause a moment for you to laugh) ... ... (aaaand resume) to record it because Institute fell on the same night. (I'll just answer here because I know you're wondering -- I get free cable with my rent so I'm not gonna pay for a DVR monthly, when I can buy a VCR once for cheap.) Institute is still on Thursdays, so I have big plans to set up my VCR when I get home from work. Do you know what this means, people? My soul will be fed TWICE in one night.

3. Warranties and Extended Warranties. Oh, and my crazy luck, too. I took my car in to have the oil changed a week or so ago, and the guys at Jiffy Lube said that I had the startings of an engine oil leak. I wasn't too worried because I'd purchased an awwwesome extended warranty with CarMax (Go smart me!) and was sure it'd be covered. So, I called good ol' CarMax to see if something like that would be covered, and they said it probably would and to bring it in. That was Monday. Because my work is halfway between CarMax and my home, I decided to drop my car off there after work on Monday so they could get to it first thing on Tuesday. Josh picked me up, and since he had to be up in Salt Lake the following day anyway he volunteered to drop me off at work on Tuesday, then come back to take me back to Salt Lake for my car. (Are you still with me?)

[Insert - me calling Josh 15 times on Tuesday morning and him not waking up, me calling a coworker to come get me, me calling Josh to leave a message saying nevermind but him surprising me by answering pleasantly saying he'll come right over, me calling the coworker to tell them to turn back around, me waiting another 15 minutes for Josh, me nearly falling down the stairs outside my apartment but barely catching myself in my heels and instead flinging my crappy waterbottle which busted open and spewed water everywhere, Josh showing up not even knowing I'd called him 15 times and he was significantly late, me getting over it in the car and trying not to be grumpy about it, then getting to work with no further event - here.]

So then CarMax tells me that the valve cover gasket or something like that needs to be replaced, so they've sent the info to the warranty group, and will hear back from them in a couple of hours and then will perform the work. Well, the warranty people rejected the repair because they said this is still covered under the manufacturer's warranty. So now they had to submit it to the manufacturer for approval. And since it was a manufacturer's warranty, a Nissan dealer has to do the repair, so the car had to be taken to the dealer.

Needless to say, CarMax wasn't sure that all of this would happen before they closed on Tuesday so the CarMax warranty folk paid for me to get a rental car so they wouldn't chance it and leave me without a car. (Awesome people, eh?)

Oh boy, this is turning into a long story.

Blah, blah, blah, Josh gets tied up with picking his mom up from the airport because her flight was delayed and then they're in rush hour traffic, but because I'd already told Enterprise they didn't need to pick me up, I had to find someone else to drive me to the car rental place. I finally get there, they're understaffed and I get stuck with a car that someone had been naughty and just smoked in.

Oh my gosh, this is the most boring story ever. I'm cutting it right now.

Let's just say, thing after thing kept happening, so the car didn't get done on Wednesday either so Enterprise switched me out to a non-smoky-stinky car. Then that car started leaking oil or something so they brought me another car this morning. Somehow in here I realized that I had no idea how I was going to drive myself to CarMax to pick up my car and still go back the 45 miles or so to take the rental back, and no one could really help me because they'd have to drive themselves there, too. I mentioned this to Enterprise this morning, and because of all the trouble I'd had with their cars and they were embarrassed I think, they offered to let me leave the rental an hour away at CarMax and they'd come pick it up for me.

WHEW! That was so long and full of so many details you didn't need to know. I doubt many of you are still reading, but if you are, my gratitude is that what I thought was bad luck, was actually very very good luck. Eeeexcellent.

And now I'm finally done. Forgive me for just wasting ten minutes of your life?

Thankful Thursday

2009-05-14T11:19:00.012-06:00

Today, I am thankful for:

The perfect, wonderful, glorious, kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic* weather we have been enjoying the past week or two. (Didn't I tell you my gratitude almost always involves the weather?) Our days have been sunny and clear with temperatures ranging from about 60 to 75 degrees, depending on the day. It seriously has been awwwesome. (It does, however, make me resent the fact that I work in a lame office and can't frolic in meadows all day, but we won't go into that because that would negate the gratitude I'm going for here.)

On Saturday Josh and I decided to take advantage of the beautiousness (I like making up words) and hiked the Y, which was my first time ever doing so.

I was just about to link you to a site explaining what "hiking the Y" means, but the page said the hike was "easy," and just made me feel bad about myself so, uh, if you're that curious I'll let you find on your own the sites that make fun of me. Come on - you people who have done it - it's not that easy, is it? Am I really that fat? I didn't have trouble with sore muscles or anything, but my heart rate was getting up pretty good and I may or may not have had to stop several times. I know I'm out of shape, but really? "Easy?" Phooey on you, utah.com, and your belittling "information."

I might be a little sensitive about my out-of-shapeness. Hmm.. Good thing I've finally stopped being a total lazy-butt and the H and B competition has been reinstated.

Anyway, here are some pic-a-chas from our hiking endeavor:

Lately we've been inadvertently coordinating our outfits. I didn't notice this instance until seeing this picture. Awwwww.

Provo is pretty stinkin' beautiful.

And it totally cracked me up that while I'm enjoying and taking pictures of the view, Josh is trimming his nails. He has this thing about his nails being too long, and almost always carries clippers with him in case he has a hangnail or something. Ha, ha, ha, I love it.

And because I just posted a not-terribly-flattering picture of him, I'll post one of me from when Josh confiscated my camera and thought it was a good idea to snap away while unbeknownst to me. (Because, ya know, I neeeever post unflattering pictures of myself...)

Apparently something is confusing? I dunno.
And that bulge that appears to be a muffin top? Uhh.. it's not. It's, uh, a fanny pack I decided to carry under my shirt. Yeeaah. That's what it is.

So the post doesn't end with an eye-burning picture, here's another picture of something pretty:

Muuuch better.

For what are you grateful today?

*Name that reference

2009-05-11T11:17:00.006-06:00

There aren't really words to express how I feel about my mom, and I don't want to risk cheapening my feelings or making anything seem trite. So I'll leave it to Washington Irving:

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."

My mom truly is my very best friend. I will forever be grateful that I was sent to her.

quote first brought to my attention at this lovely little blog

Gush Alert! Proceed with Caution

2009-05-01T16:03:00.008-06:00

I taught him how to do that with his eyes. I am quite proud of it.

Sooooooo...

Josh makes fun of me for marking the months, but I'm gonna do it anyway. (Neener neeneeeeer.)

Today or yesterday or w... dangit! Why did we make our relationship exclusive on the 31st of a month? This complicates everything for me. Seriously. Could I have stopped being a snob just A DAY sooner? (By the way, that "a" is pronounced like the "a" in cat. It's for emPHAsis.) On months that just have 30 days, do I mark the month mark on the 30th or the 1st? What do you think? Hmmmm? (Why yes, my life is quite stressful with all the difficult things I must figure out.)

Anyway, as of today (or yesterday or something) Joshy and I have been dating 9 months. I realize that I am sort of a loser for writing a whole lame blog post about this, but come on, people. Nine months is the time it takes a woman to freaking grow a PERSON, so I think it's commemorable. (Finally! An actual word!) (P.S. Kudos to all of you lovely ladies who actually have grown people. Well done.)

Our relationship has been sprinkled with its fair share of CRAP with other people messing with it, so many outside issues causing problems, getting used to and learning each other's neuroses and more, but we are awesome and stuck it out anyway and have become better for it. Things are better now than ever, and I love that man.

He is good. He is funny. He is a stinker (just the right amount). He is smart. He is doting. He is nasty (and lets me be nasty, too!). He is sweet. He thinks I'm hot even though I've gained ten lovely pounds in the time we have been dating. (It will come off, dangit!) He encourages me to wear tiaras. He does the dishes. He drops everything to drive a 1600-mile round trip with me. He hoots and hollers while going down water slides. He stands in awkward positions with his butt sticking out while miniature golfing. He scrapes the snow off of my car on a winter morning even though it's gonna make him late for work. And he accepts her:

For your sake and mine, please do not click to enlarge this picture.
(And now that I've said that, I'm sure at least 5 of you have now done that. Tsk. Tsk.)

I don't know what possessed me to commemorate this particular month, but I was feeling a little gushy. So if gush makes you ill or writing about 9 months of dating is annoying to you, my apologies. But you should just get over it. Or stop reading. Up to you. (My, my, am I getting a little sassy or what?)

P.S. What is up with me and the parentheses lately? I'm a little outta control.

How has it been a year?

2009-04-29T10:53:00.005-06:00

A year ago today I first posted about little Alan and his rough entrance into this world. As most of you will remember, we lost that sweet little boy after he fought so hard for nearly six months.

This week that marks a year since his birth has me struck with nostalgia as I think of his sweetness and how he helped and changed my family. This week I am jolted out of the silly worries and drama and reminded of what really matters. So today, I just want to re-post what I wrote the day that Alan passed away.

------------------------------
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2008

The Fight Is Over

We lost Alan this morning around 1:45 am (Arizona time). I am sad, of course, but I know that everything is okay. It's hard and I wish things could be different, but I have the peace and comfort that the Atonement affords. The hardest part is knowing that I'm only getting a tiny taste of what Gene and Allison are experiencing. I pray that they will be able to feel that peace, too, and perhaps feel closer to Heavenly Father now than they ever have.

At the time, I was aware that my experience with Alan in September was a sweet, tender mercy. But that was back when I was sure that he was going to make it - that it was only a matter of time until he was home and would grow up like any other little boy. Now that he has passed away, this experience has become invaluable to me. I cannot express enough gratitude to my Father in Heaven for knowing me so well and loving me so much to give me exactly what He knew I would need when Alan left us. I simply can't convey the depth of my gratitude. And especially that the nurse walked by and asked me if I wanted a picture with him - something I didn't know at the time was going to be so necessary, for I was sure I'd hold him again soon.

I took this picture with my phone as he stared up into my eyes, and it has become so very precious to me. This is how I remember him. This is how I will think of him when I recall the sweet aura that was about him.

I truly believe that Alan was here this long to teach us something. To change my family. I can hardly imagine how special his valiant little spirit must be. He wasn't expected to live more than a couple days, and I'm absolutely awed that he was willing to fight so hard for so long through so much pain until his poor little body just couldn't do it anymore, just to help us. I strongly feel that he has been holding on the past several days until his parents were ready to let him go. It was just last night that they made the decision to take him off life support on Wednesday. What a sweet, merciful little boy to wait until they were ready, and then go on his own (and Father in Heaven who did the same and took him home), rather than making them go through with such a difficult decision. I feel an assurance that even though his life was so short, he had such a great purpose.

Thank you, Alan. Thank you for coming to us. Thank you for doing everything you could to fulfill your purpose. No one on this earth can know how much you mean to me. But I hope you do. I look forward to meeting you again, but this time being able to more fully drink in your inspiring, admirable, valiant spirit and to talk to you one-on-one. I love you.

When I think of you, Alan, I am reminded of one of my all-time favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

"To share often and much...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

You succeeded, Alan.

I think I'm gonna go back

2009-04-27T16:55:00.003-06:00

... to being private, that is.

I'm tired of the drama.
I'm tired of having to censor myself, and be so choosy about what I share.
I'm tired of unintentionally hurting others' feelings and my intentions being misconstrued and misunderstood.
I'm tired of feeling obligations about my blog. This blog is for me, after all.

I may not go private, but right now I'm thinking I probably will. There was a time when the benefits to being public outweighed the benefits to being private, but I think that has now changed.

Anyway, that's what's on my mind right now. I'll turn on comment moderation so you can send me your email if you want to have access to my blog if I do decide to go private. That way no one else will see it. (If you had access to my blog when it was private before, you won't need to send it again.)

P.S. If you're a lurker or just like reading for fun, I hope you won't hesitate sending me your address either. I don't mind if people I don't know are reading this; I just want a little more control over it than I do now. (Like not having 5000 hits a day because a "famous" blogger, unbeknownst to me, linked to me.) So don't be embarrassed if you've never commented or don't know me or whatever - there is never an obligation to comment on here. Lurk all you want, baby. :)

I probably wear it more than I should.

2009-04-21T11:19:00.007-06:00

As you will remember, my mom didn't know I was going to be at home for Easter, so she oh-so-thoughtfully sent me a little package that I received upon my return. Inside was a Cinderella tiara with a note that said, "To be worn in airports and other places deemed appropriate." (This is in reference to the experience in the airport I had a few months ago.)

Well, I didn't put it on when I first got it. I just thought, "That's cute," and put it to to the side. When I showed Josh, however, he insisted I wear it.* And I wore it the rest of the evening.

The next day I saw it on my desk and I decided to put it on. In grubby basketball shorts, a t-shirt, no makeup, no shower, no bra (you know you do it too) I packed all day on Saturday (because I'm moving!), but that tiara graced my nappy head the entire time.

I've decided that it's almost always appropriate, and surely helps to bolster chipperness (not a word) out of the mundane.

I've worn it every day since.

Let's pretend that I haven't been hauling boxes up and down 3 flights of stairs in the heat and packing for a few hours, and that I look awesome here. I like when we pretend.

Sure, it's slightly embarrassing, but I don't care what you think because I'm a ~~loser~~ princess.

*Reason #46 why Josh is good for me.
And sometimes when he comes over now and I'm not wearing it, he is a little disappointed and asks me to put it on. Yessssss.

Thankful Thursday

2009-04-16T14:48:00.016-06:00

This is getting serious, people.

I am sooo not feeling the storytelling vibe. And it's not just in blogging. It's in everything.

I used to be such a huge storyteller -- these stories and my way of sharing them being the thing that was affectionately termed The Heather Show back in the good ol' EA days.

What is happening??

Could this be - GASP - a sign of growing up???

I am determined to salvage this dying ham aspect of my personality, and I'm thinking that blogging even when I don't really wanna will help resurrect it. In the meantime I am asking you, my darling readers (all 4 of you), to power through the mediocrity with me, and hopefully I'll eventually stumble on to something entertaining.

So now that that's out of the way, on to Thankful Thursday! (The third one in a row. Laaaame-oooooo!) (That's pronounced "Oh" like the Lost Boys say RU-FI-OOOoooooo!" in Hook, and not like "OoooOOo" like Will Ferrell in Elf. Glad we got that cleared up.)

I am beyond grateful for my spontaneous and wonderful trip to Arizona last weekend. I'm telling you this is exactly what the doctor ordered (Who actually says that anymore?). And while Josh informed me it wasn't that spontaneous because I had been thinking about it the afternoon prior to leaving, anyone who knows me and my tendency to neurotically plan knows it was pretty crazy for me. Especially considering the fact that I have not made the drive home since I moved to Utah. I'm a total fly-girl. (No, not those fly girls.)
On Thursday afternoon I thought, "Hey. I wanna go home this weekend." I then IM'ed my boss and said, "Can I have tomorrow off and possibly Monday?" He said "sure" (because I have an awesome job), and I decided to think it through a little more. On Friday morning I was still vacillating, and got on to IM Josh (who was studiously working on homework). The conversation went something like this (ok, this is a direct transcript. Thanks gmail!):

me: you're sure you don't wanna take a road trip?(I hadn't really asked him to go at all yet because the boy's got tons to do as this final (final!) semester of school is winding down.)

me: I want to go home, but flying is just so expensive, and I don't know that I should drive by myself

Josh: i'm sure you'll be fine driving

just be safe

me: I am notorious for falling asleep if I drive more than a couple hours

Josh: oh...

Josh: thats not good

blah, blah, blah, let's skip to more of my patheticism (is that a word?)

me: I really wish you could come with me. I think it'd be fun.

Josh: it would

but when would i do my paper

and math...

i'm torn

its very tempting

Blah, blah, more shameless and transparent manipulation...

Josh: ok

fine

i'll go

Seriously people. BEST. BOYFRIEND. EVER. Now he's having to pay for his amazing and selfless generosity with making up for that lost time, but we had so much fun and I'm pretty sure he's glad he went. (Or at least he's good at faking it. Either is admirable.)

So within 2 hours we were on the road.

(This was actually taken on the way back, but we'll insert it here to break up the boring wordiness.)

I didn't tell anyone I was coming (except my brother who was also coming from out of town and I wanted to make sure left some open sleeping space) and it was awesome just walking in and surprising everyone. Especially my mama.

Oh, and to get a glimpse of my awesome dad, here's a little anecdote for ya. I'd hugged everyone, chatted for a couple minutes, looked over and my dad was still sitting in his chair, barely acknowledging that the daughter he hasn't seen in months just showed up in the house after a spontaneous 800-mile drive. I walked over and said, "Hi Dad!"

My dad (in a low, somewhat gruff voice): Hey. Glad you got to see me.

That is my dad. He is awesome. And funny. Albeit not terribly warm and fuzzy.

The next morning I took Josh on his very first 4-wheeler outing on my dad's brand new one (thanks Dad!). (My family is toootally into 4-wheelers. Er, I mean quads. I must use the lingo if I'm gonna be a poser and pretend I fit in.) After a little while I let him drive and we went all over tarnation. It was totally fun. Then we had to hit up my favorite restaurant, the classy La Casita Cafe, and Josh was converted. (I know better than to talk about that place. Crap. Now that's all I want.) Then the Easter festivities began!

We had a big Easter egg hunt for a bunch of the grandkids. See photo documentation:

Eggs in plain sight for the little 'uns. (I know what you're thinking: Nice car! Why, thank you.)

Isn't that a darling little I'm-excited face?

The excitement got to be so much, that they were running from egg to egg trying to beat each other. I happened to snap a picture right at the point of a collision.
Awwwwesome. I may or may not have laughed when they fell down. (Judge away.)

And for the older ones, my sister-in-law and I did quite tricky hiding in the back lot. It took awhile, and the grown-ups had to pitch in. And I may or may not have been accosted because of the difficulty of my hiding places. (Whiners.)

See the perplexed face? My hiding was enhancing cognitive skills!

We then had our traditional Easter dinner of turkey, stuffing, and the works. (We're not really ham or lamb people.) And my 4-year-old niece gave me an awesome manicure.

And I may or may not have been "supervising" when she swiped nail polish across her shirt.

The cousin of the niece performing the manicure (my Kiki) said, "You can't get it on her fingers!!" and proceeded to try to wipe it off. (That was cuter when it happened than it is now that I'm typing it.)

The whole weekend was great, and was the recharge I needed. Loooooove it.

Oo, and here is the awesome view just outside of Page, Arizona.
That's with a point-and-shoot and absolutely no editing.

I love Arizona.

P.S. I use parentheses a whole dang lot. Lots of tangents and asides, I guess..

Thankful Thursday

2009-04-02T15:12:00.016-06:00

Okay, okay, I will post. My loyal fan (Yes, I have one!) has persuaded me to power through my recent aversion to blogging. I can't promise it'll be good, but at least you'll have something to read and distract for a couple minutes.

I think my designer leather handbag (quit judging - I did not pay that price for it) may have escaped the accident stain-free!

And just a piece of advice - do not buy this water bottle:

I tried to be all artsy or something with my camera phone, but clearly the effect I was going for didn't work, and I didn't feel like taking another. Forgive me.

Do not! It's an 8-dollar rip-off. Ok, ok, let me back up.

I never drink out of cups of my own volition. I always drink out of water bottles, and I almost always have one somewhere with water in it. It's usually just a leftover Aquafina or Dasani or whatever that I refill over and over until it's taking a trip toward the nasty and I replace it. But here's the thing - I pretty much never put the cap on it. I like to have the water readily available and don't want to mess with the unscrewing business. It's just a little quirk of mine.

A quirk that bugs Josh to all kingdom come.

And can I just interject this explanation for another story-within-a-story? Oh, thanks so much - you're so patient. One time I left the bottle open by my feet, but Josh didn't realize it was there and knocked it over. It didn't really spill much because it wasn't full and he picked it up quickly, but it annoyed him that I left the cap off again, so he proceeded with the lecture. While he vehemently told me of the woes of leaving caps off with the bottle in-hand, his exuberance got to be too much and his violent hand movements shot more water out the top, in his face I might add, than knocking it over had. It cracked me up. And I made fun of him. (Now I'm realizing this is the sort of story that's better told in person.)

Anyway, this is just one of those little things that gets under his skin. So when we were at Target a couple weeks ago I decided to do him a favor and look at some water bottles with built-in spouts that are easily opened and closed. This one looked awesome with a nice rubber grip and stuff, so I thought I'd splurge and spend the 8 bucks on it.

Well, apparently the geniuses at Eddie Bauer thought it was a good idea to put a small hole on the cap to help the flow of the water. When you close the spout it covers the hole, but doesn't seal it. So if the bottle is upside down or on its side, it leaks. LAAAAME.

I was annoyed, but figured that if knocked over it would spill less than a capless one (and besides I'd just paid 8 bucks!) so I kept using it, but try to keep it upright and avoid putting it in bags I care about.

Well, last night someone dropped by with little notice to look at my Bug (shameless plug: help me sell my Bug!) I was carrying my handbag and the bottle, but needed my hands for something else so quickly put the bottle in my bag, being sure to keep it upright. Well, I later forgot it was in there so didn't treat it with the proper care, and the bottle tipped over. And sat in my bag, tipped over, for at least an hour.

Me no happy.

When I remembered the bottle was in there, I took it out, but didn't realize it had spilled because it hadn't yet soaked through to the beautiful chocolate-colored leather. Untiiiil an hour or so later there was a big wet spot on my bed where the bag had been sitting.

I took everything out, tried to dry it out, and hoped for the best, but didn't expect much (everything I read online pretty much said you're SOL in this sort of situation). But, alas! This morning it looked like it'll dry out okay and the stains will be minimal and at the very bottom of the bag. Hooray!

Anyway, the whole point of this boring, lengthy, detail-laden post iiiis... I'm grateful that my 8-dollar mistake may not have turned into a hundred-dollar mistake.

Now, Kelly, do you regret asking me to write? I'm telling ya, my blogging abilities seem to have eluded me as of late. I am boring.

Thankful Thursday

2009-03-26T11:46:00.005-06:00

Do you go through periods where you just don't feel like posting anything? I mean, you have stuff you could talk about, but you don't feel like being a "writer?" (HAH! As if I could call myself that.) That has been the past week or two for me and is why I've been scarce around these parts. I would apologize for my absence, but I really doubt you care, and am sure you haven't felt a void.

That being said, here is some gratitude for this week:

1. The "blizzard-like conditions" (that's what the weatherman called it) we are experiencing today, along with the cold we've experienced this past week were preceded by ridiculously lovely weather. That weather we'd been enjoying was a bit short-lived, but it indicated the gloriosity (Yes, I made that word up. Just go with it) of the weather to come and served as a nice reminder that the cold and snow is almost over.

Have you ever noticed that nearly all of my Thankful Thursdays mention the weather? I'm tellin' ya, I think it affects my emotional state more than most people.

2. I discovered The Pioneer Woman this past week, and spent hours (stop judging) poking around and reading her love story. I love her site - her sense of humor, her well-roundedness (that's not a word either), and especially her candor. I am a notorious over-sharer so she helps me feel a little more validated. Me likey validation.

3. I've been learning a bit more about investing and feel more confident in taking risks with my own investment options. I still know basically nothing, but it's comin'.

Planning a wedding is exhausting.

2009-03-17T16:45:00.004-06:00

This was Tish when I got home the other night at about 11:30pm:

And this is Tish at almost 1am:

This girl can sleep just about anywhere, any time, in any position.
I adore it.

Thankful Thursday

2009-03-12T11:19:00.003-06:00

Today I am especially grateful to have a job. And a good one at that. We all hear about the economy being so terrible and people losing their jobs all the time, but today it hit really close to home and I realized just how blessed I am. I hope you are just as blessed as I.

Motivational Dreams

2009-03-11T10:19:00.006-06:00

One of my coworkers casually told me that she had a dream about me the night before.

Apparently I was at her desk eating her pencil shavings.

Really?

REALLY???

And the motivation to lose this weight I've put on since dating Josh has instantly been strengthened.

The Armor of God

2009-03-10T10:17:00.005-06:00

This is my boyfriend wearing the Armor of God as part of an FHE activity.

He's wearing the ~~chicken~~ breast + plate of righteousness.
Notice the "fiery dart" it's blocking.
I especially admire his manly stance.

He's so pretty.

My mission to be more domestic: Sewing

2009-03-09T12:01:00.008-06:00

As I've mentioned before, recently I've developed this hankering to develop domestic skills. Last Fall, I got this resounding desire to learn how to sew. I researched and studied and finally decided on a sewing machine to purchase that was simple enough for a beginner, yet advanced enough to still satiate my needs when I developed more skills. I finally decided on this little beauty:

Janome SewPrecise. I hiiiighly recommend it.

I was sooo excited for it to arrive. I ordered it online (as that was the best deal I could find) and tracked it pretty much daily. All of my coworkers got frequent updates on its status and I'm sure they were thrilled about it.

Then it finally arrived. I saw the big beautiful box when I got home, and made Joshy come over to my place so I could play with it. I pulled everything out, examined every piece, all the while fantasizing about my future creations. After my ogling was complete, I set everything down and stared and thought, Hmm. Now what?

(Yes, it was very anti-climactic. That's how I roll.)

That was mid-October, my friends. The machine sat on my desk collecting dust. I still subscribed to the sewing blogs, still dreamed of stuff, asked for sewing stuff for Christmas, but once I got home I didn't think twice about sewing. I think I was afraid of it.

Well, over Christmas break I found this tutorial for a denim rag quilt and thought I could probably tackle it. I began to cut jeans (120 squares, mind you) and those stupid jeans took forever. (And I'm sure this had nothing to do with my perfectionist tendencies, nor my inexperience...) Then I went home to Utah, leaving my beloved rotary cutting mat and ruler at home until my mom could ship them to me.

Well, I finally chose fabric for the reverse side and the rotary materials finally came and I ventured on teaching myself (Michael and I learned together) to sew.

Here, my friends, is my first completely solo project:

The model was sooo professionally sexy and not cheesy or creepy at all.

I cut all the cotton squares and sewed everything together in one day. (You can be impressed. I was quite impressed with myself.) And it had nothing to do with my obsessive slash borderline unhealthy need to keep on working on stuff until it is completed.

Ooooooooooo!

Awwwww!

Mmmm!
(Did I go too far with this creepy caption?)

Ya know what surprised me? The stupid cutting of all the seams on the denim side for the chenille look took freaking forever. And it hurt my hands. And [insert more whining here]. All in all, it was fun and now I CAN SEW!!!

I even had a blouse that had a hole where the seams had come apart and I fixed it yesterday. By myself. And you can't even tell. I am out of control, people.

Now I've joined an online Quilt Along (I'm a total Mommy blogger sans the Mommy part) for further learning and have someone walking me through it with a timeline and everything. I've already learned quite a bit and my fabric should arrive sometime this week. (I'm hoping that with the quilt-along the fabric won't meet the same anti-climactic arrival as the machine.)

Wish me luck! And pat me on the back, too. Thanks in advance.

P.S. It looks cuter and better in person. The pictures don't do it justice. Josh, leave a comment and validate me here. (Whether or not it is true.)

Thankful Thursday

2009-03-05T14:04:00.004-07:00

1. Josh's sleep schedule is finally back to normal. Oddly, Joshy got his days and nights flipped around about a week or two ago, so we didn't really see much of each other. (Which bit.) But he texted me excitedly at 7am this morning saying that he'd just woken up. So we're actually doing something together tonight. Woot woot!

2. This book:

This book was on sale for crazy cheap last year when I was in Deseret Book so I bought it on a whim. I'd forgotten I had it until about a week ago when I noticed it on the bookshelf. Sometimes I don't have much time each day to read Gospel-related things other than the Scriptures, so I took this little book to work and have it sitting by my computer monitor. I try to read an inspiring thought from it each day to help realign myself and my thinking. I love the mere second it takes for an immediate uplift.

3. My wonderful (WONDERFUL!) solo bike ride on Sunday. Seriously. Exactly what I needed.

What's making you grateful this week?

Victory!

2009-03-04T16:03:00.010-07:00

Soooo, the plagiarized copy of cjane's post that I referenced in my earlier post has been taken down.

BLOGGERS UNITE!

I feel like a blog cop or something. Or... a blop? Cog? ... Anyone?

Yeeeah, pretty sure my share in the loser stock is officially rising.

I'm a celebrity - by association anyway

2009-03-04T11:53:00.011-07:00

I like to read a lot of blogs. When one makes me smile or laugh a couple times, I'll usually add it to my Google Reader.

I'm sure if you're much of a blog-reader yourself you've heard of cjane, the sister of nienie (who was in a plane crash in August). And if you haven't read either blog, I'm sure you've at least seen the buttons that link to their blogs on others that you read. Cjane's blog was just voted the best major blog, she was on the Today Show, has had many-an-article written about her, and is probably the most widely-read blog on the net. She's a celebrity of sorts amongst us blog dorks.

Recently I added another semi-popular blog to my list called On That Note. As I opened today's post, it sounded incredibly familiar to something I'd recently read from cjane. Shockingly familiar, in fact. I opened up both blogs and read them together and the plagiarism reminiscent of a 7th grade report was HILARIOUS. And a titch flabbergasting as well. Did she really think no one would notice she copied one of the most popular blogs on the web?

As a regular reader of cjane's wit, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on her sense of humor and was sure she'd find this hilarious, too. She gets hundreds of emails, and though I've never been one of them, I thought this merited a note.

My email to cjane:

Cjane,

I've been a reader of your blog for awhile now, but I've never written before. I thought I'd break this trend and point out that you must be pretty popular. A semi-popular blog called, On That Note, has a post today that is nearly identical to your post from Monday about March. It uses the same phrases with perhaps a word changed here and there, and even many of the desires she expresses are the same. You can see it at http://herbigfamily.blogspot.com/2009/03/welcome-march.html.

Maybe you don't care, maybe this happens a lot, and maybe I'm being snarky, but I thought it was a tad irritating and thought you might get a kick out of it. You seem the type who'd just take it for what it is and be flattered. Imitation is indeed the sincerest form of flattery.

Keep dishing us the clever wit, even if others do claim it as their own.

Hope you have a good day,

Heather

Much to my surprise, merely an hour and a half later she wrote me back:

Heather,

You just made my day. I am laughing out loud. This is definitely the first time this sort of thing has happened. Thanks for taking the time to e-mail me. I love snarky and therefore, I must love you too.

Courtney

It made my day to hear from her, and to know that we're now instant "friends". And call me a loser if you want (it's kinda true), but a "celebrity" says she "loves me too."

Oh, and about my whole being a better person thing and not making fun of people even when it's funny... yeah, sometimes you have to make exceptions. Forgive me?

To compare the two blogs yourself, cjane's original post is here, and the copy is here. It's a good laugh.

Her ring came out of where?

2009-03-02T16:38:00.004-07:00

This article Cuh-RACKED me up. READ IT.

No, seriously. Stop reading my blog and go read this article.
I even recommend reading the whole thing and not just the headline. You really should.

I mean, c'mon! She POOPED IT OUT and then put it ON HER HAND!!!

Totally made my day, people.

I heart her.

2009-02-27T11:07:00.007-07:00

She is beautiful. Inside and out.

And I heart her.

(That's all.)

Happy Unbirthday to me!

2009-02-26T21:30:00.004-07:00

This is the last pill of my 6 month regimen of total life-complicators.

WAAAAHOOOOOOO!!!!

Happy Unbirthday to me!

Thankful Thursday

2009-02-26T09:56:00.002-07:00

1. The GLORIOUS weather we have been having. I never realize how much I am affected by the seasons until we get even the tiniest glimpses of Spring after a long Winter. For about a week now, our temps have been in the 40s and 50s and it has been SUNNY (!!!) and wonderful. My mood has chippered right up and just made me so excited for Spring to be here to stay. (Oo, and I'll be able to ride my beautiful bike!) Everyday I enjoy it, but keep thinking that the snow will come back soon. But then I wake up the next morning and perform my regular ritual of blind opening first thing and BEHOLD! It's sunny and fantastic again! Now I feel confident that when Winter returns (of course it will; it's February), I shall be more prepared to handle it. Siiigh. Seriously, I can't convey how much I freaking love this.

2. My rotary cutting mat and ruler got here! I have briefly mentioned before that I've decided to learn how to sew dangit, so I requested several supplies for Christmas. I spent my Christmas in Az, but my mat and ruler were just too big to take back with me on the plane. Because the mat is so big, my mom hasn't been able to send it until recently and it is finally here. I am going to get going tonight. (I'm a tad frightened by how much this excites me. Who am I?)

3. Secret and not-so-secret competitions with Becky. Becky was one of my first roommates when I moved to Utah, and she is fantastic. She has since moved out of state, but we both have desk jobs so talk to each other pretty much all day on I.M. We have discussed how we often will set up little competitions in our head with other people who have no idea about it - liiiike how we secretly want to do better than them or something. Oh, and yes, we acknowledge that we're not good people and shouldn't do that, but you know you do it too. Anyway, we decided to start the Couch-to-5K Running Program (I did it last summer and dropped like 10 lbs) together, and Becky started this thing where she put up a calendar and each day we work out, I get an H and she gets a B. It's a bit ridiculous how much I want my H (and she her B), but for some strange reason it's working! We're only on week 2, but I can already feel my gut trimming back down again. Woo woo!

P.S. You should join us! Seriously, this program is awesome.

How about you? What's makin' you all chipper and thankful this week?

Repost: Me vs. The Shirt

2009-02-25T10:55:00.006-07:00

I've gotten a few requests to repost old stories, so I thought I'd do that today.

Since things like this happen all the time, I really didn't think it'd be all that great of a story, but since ya'll seemed to enjoy it so much then, here ya go again:

ORIGINALLY POSTED: TUESDAY, JUNE 3, 2008

Me vs. The Shirt

Disclaimer: The following story is typically me, but may be embarrassing to those of the opposite sex. Continue reading at your own discretion.

I have this shirt with a hidden zipper in the side. This zipper allows the shirt to fit a little closer to the body to flatter curves, which is usually necessary for a more flattering fit for someone with my body type. I wore this shirt on Thursday, and removed it to workout with no great event. After showering after my workout, I was in a hurry to get dressed so I could make it to Institute. I threw the shirt back on and hastily zipped it up. Unbeknownst to me, I was a little too vigorous with my zipping, pulling the zipper a little too high over the top.

After returning home from Institute, I was watching my recorded VHS tape of So You Think You Can Dance in my room (yes, I purchased a VCR so my addiction would not interfere with my spiritual progression), and decided to get dressed for bed. There was only one problem: the zipper was stuck, and I could not get the dang thing off.

Now, most of my girl friends are married, or have moved away, or have never lived in Utah, so I mostly hang out with guys. I'm not really friends with my new roommates, and they weren't home anyway. Getting this shirt off was going to require assistance, but I couldn't ask my guy friends! First of all, the zipper is in sort of an awkward position for any man to whom I am not married to touch, and second, if it wasn't in such an awkward place, it would still be awkward because he'd be removing my shirt. I was on my own for this one.

As time went on and I was still unable to get the shirt off (remember it's fitted so it must be unzipped...), I was becoming very amused at my predicament. I texted my mom, continuing to give her the play-by-play of my progress.

Luckily, I'd lost enough weight since first purchasing the shirt, that I was able to slip the cap sleeve off of one shoulder and wriggle my arm out of the collar. AHA! With one arm out, I was able to easily slip the other arm out of the collar. The shirt was now sitting around my waist. My hips were too wide to slip it down, and other things were too wide to slip it over my head, so I twisted the shirt around to the front, thinking that with a better angle I would be able to get the zipper unstuck.

Several sore fingers later, I decided to take a break and just enjoy So You Think You Can Dance for a little while. Refusing to be defeated, I tried it again. It still wouldn't budge. DAH! But then... GENIUS! I had an idea.

(WARNING: Here comes the embarrassing/slightly inappropriate part!)

I took off my bra to make certain things a bit more... pliable, if you will. I was then able to push and shove and squeeze them enough while pulling the shirt up. The whole time I was laughing so hard and just regretting that no one could be there to revel in the pure funnyness of the situation. One at a time, I managed to get the shirt over them, and successfully pull the shirt over my head.

VICTORY!!

After ONE HOUR of this, it was finally off and I was free. I can't explain the sense of satisfaction I felt as I conquered the shirt.

I texted my mom with the good news and she simply replied: "You lead such an interesting life." That I do, my friends. That I do.

To Being a Better Person - FAIL

2009-02-24T08:45:00.014-07:00

It has been brought to my attention that, in a previous post, I hurt someone's feelings. In fact, it was just a week after I said I was going to be a better person.

Ah crap.

When I wrote what I wrote, I thought about what might be vague enough to avoid hurting feelings. In fact, I added that I do crazy things too (don't we all), and that I realized even making fun of someone's actions and not them personally can be hurtful. In my thinking, adding these things would assure anyone who could potentially be hurt by this that they shouldn't be, and that it's all good.

Am I naive or what? That's ridiculous!

I've thought about it a lot and realized that, above all, I don't want to be a source of negativity. I don't want to invite negative things in my life. And most of all, I don't want to invite negative things into YOUR life.

So here it is - my resolution to make my blog (and all my interactions with others) more uplifting. Please be patient with me as I figure out life, and I hope you'll forgive me when I sometimes (because I'm sure it's coming!) fail.

Gordon B. Hinckley said,

May I suggest that you walk with prayer and faith, with charity and love. Our Father in Heaven has endowed His daughters with a unique and wonderful capacity to reach out to those in distress, to bring comfort and succor; to bind up the wounds and heal the aching heart.

I'm done negating these divinely-given attributes. I want to be the kind of woman who embraces that nature within.

Hold me to that, folks.

Oh, and please - if I have offended or hurt you in any way, please accept my sincere apologies. And let's be friends, eh? Sweet!

Do's and Don'ts of Tubing

2009-02-23T10:41:00.013-07:00

DO look super cute at the top of the hill.
DON'T stick out your tongue and ruin a cute picture.

DO wear ugly, unflattering jeans that you don't care about ruining.
DON'T cop a feel as you begin to slide down the hill.
(Hmmm. Maybe that "don't" is negotiable.)

DO hold on super tight when approaching a jump backwards.

DON'T hold on so tight after the jump that you look like a big fat pansy.

DO go with super fun people from the ward.
DON'T be the only one who shows up in the aforementioned ugly, unflattering jeans while everyone else looks cute.

DO hold up your feet while racing.
DON'T do it with style.

DO attempt a tubing chain of 6 or 7 people.

DON'T fly off the tube and slide 7 or 8 feet on your butt.
But if you have to, DO do it as a couple.

DO lie on your back in recovery after a massive tubing chain.
DO awesomely contort your feet and show a little leg while getting up.

DO look down at your butt-slide prints in awe.

DO stand out in your orange coat, face-framing hood, and jubilant smile in the group shot.

As you can see, I learned a lot about tubing this weekend. (Yes, I was a tubing virgin.) I also learned that I prefer tubing in packed, old snow to sledding in fresh powder.
It's warmer and you get less snow in your pants.

The Dress

2009-02-20T11:03:00.004-07:00

Some of you may already know, but for those of you who don't -

TISH IS GETTING MARRIED!!!

We went wedding dress shopping last night, and this was her face when she first saw herself in THE DRESS.

Happy much?

Now comes talk of The Budget with The Mom. Send good thoughts her way!

The return of Thankful Thursday. For this week at least.

2009-02-19T00:05:00.010-07:00

It's late, and barely Thursday at all, but I feel the need to share a little gratitude.

Today, I am grateful for:

The Provo, UT Temple

I've been trying to be better about regular Temple worship and have actually been doing really well. I went tonight as part of our ward Temple night and did baptisms for the dead. I felt peace. Serenity. Calm. It was nothing spectacular or earth-shattering (in fact, I even noted that in my head while waiting), but it just was comforting. And it made me happy.

I had no idea how much I would need this experience later this evening. I had no idea how much I'd benefit from being able to draw those feelings back just a few hours later. I am absolutely in awe as I am reminded, once again, how very deeply the Lord knows me. And loves me. And knew that even though it was "nothing spectacular" at the time, it'd prove spectacular a mere 3 hours later.

If you have a recommend and are able, get to the Temple.

My mission to be more domestic: Valentine's Day edition

2009-02-18T10:11:00.012-07:00

For Valentine's Day, I made an awesome dinner for Joshy. I was quite impressed with myself.

We had steak.
Twice-baked potatoes.
Asparagus.
Spinach salad with parmesan.
Sparkling grape juice.
And my favorite, Oreo Truffle balls.

Can you tell that's a heart? Josh couldn't, even after I pointed it out to him. And I was so proud of the little touch, too. The little butt.

Joshy was very impressed, talking about how I'll be a good wife. Then he had a Oreo ball. He suddenly stopped, truffle in hand, and said very seriously, "Marry me now."

Tish later said, "When I came home while you were in the other room and I saw all the stuff I thought, 'Man! I wanna marry her!'"

I don't want to brag, but... Ok, let's be honest. This whole post is bragging. But the past few months I've felt a hankering to become more domestic and am starting to love cleaning and organizing and decorating, so have been working on the cooking and - get this - sewing! (More to come on the sewing later.)

Go ahead. Be proud of me.
And Josh. He volunteered to do the dishes. And then watched Stepmom with me because that's what I was in the mood for.

All together now. Awwwww.

We are attractive people.

2009-02-17T11:21:00.004-07:00

Joshy and I went to the Draper Utah LDS Temple Open House on Friday night, then dropped by his mom's house afterward. She said we were so cute that she just needed to take some pictures. I think our very attractive natures made it easy for her to snap a good one.

Oooooorr... not...

And could either of us look ANY FATTER in that last picture? Wow.
(Please please say no. I shudder at the thought that I could look fatter than that.)

P.S. What's up with my profile?? My Pocahontas nose (as it is affectionately termed by my family) doesn't do my flat-face profile aaaany favors.

Kelly said it best.

2009-02-16T17:39:00.007-07:00

Oh boy.

Kelly left the following comment on my previous post:

So this is a bad omen. You say you can't post about crazies and then you stop posting for a week... does this mean your life has been OVER RUN with crazies this whole past week? I hope not! - for your sake and our sake (our reading pleasure at least).

Amen, Kelly. A to the men.

The past couple weeks have been filled with stories that would have colorfully permeated the blog in the good ol' private days. It's not that I have a bunch of negative things to say, or that I want to trash-talk people. But ya know... saying how crazy something is that someone did can be hurtful, even if it's making fun of their actions and not necessarily them. (I'm sure that I've done many things that I didn't think twice about that someone could have used to entertain in many-a-blog-post.) Sooo, let's just leave it at a few snippets:

The mother of the ex who wouldn't quit, and I think may possess stalker-like
tendencies. And made us all go What the...??

The roommate and the definite line-crossing texts that prompted Joshy and me to mix up our hanging out locations. And made us all go What the...??

The Chinese girl who banged on the shower door for like 2 minutes while I was in there. I still don't know what she wanted. And it made us all go What the...??

This is the tip of the iceberg, my friends. Tip of the iceberg.

And when you've got stuff like this going on, anything else just doesn't seem interesting enough for a blog post.

To being a better person!

2009-02-06T15:27:00.003-07:00

Sometimes I regret making the blog public. It means I can't post my really good stories. (Like from this week. Seriously, folks - there are some doozies.)

But I suppose it'll help make me a better person to not talk about other people, whether or not their actions are totally crazy and talk-aboutable.

Blah, blah, yay for being a better person.

Yum!

2009-02-03T09:51:00.004-07:00

No, friends, that is not sugar on my Special K.

I like to keep some milk at work so I don't have to worry about eating breakfast at home and can have a few more minutes of sleep. Well, apparently the fridge here is getting a little too cold. After shaking my waterbottle filled with milk for awhile, I managed to slush it up just enough to "pour" some out. This was the result.

But it's surprisingly tasty! Maybe I'll always freeze my milk...

Vain Repetitions

2009-01-30T13:26:00.008-07:00

FM100, a radio station here in Utah, had a major flub a few years back that lends a sweet reminder to beware of vain repetitions in prayer. It can come back to bite. Hard.

Listen to this.

Hilarious.

Thankful Thursday

2009-01-29T14:01:00.005-07:00

This week I'm thankful for:

1. That, despite our many problems, the dress and I are making up and it looks like things may work out between us. When I got home from work after the pee-dipstick incident, naturally I threw the dress in the washer. I've only worn the dress once before and it was a gift, so I didn't remember anything about washing it, PLUS, it seemed like a cotton jersey type material that is similar to many of my other clothes that are perfectly fine in the washer so I didn't even think about it. It wasn't until I was transferring clothes to the dryer that I checked the tag to see if it could be dried and I saw the dreaded "DRY CLEAN ONLY" tag. Like I said, the dress and I were not getting along. I just hung it up to air dry and now it seems fine. It might have shrunk, but that's okay because it was a little large anyway.

2. TISH MOVED IN WITH ME!

For those of you who don't know Tish, perhaps you will remember her from the time we ransomed Rickolas's "wife." We have never been able to live together for one reason or another, but the universe has finally aligned and made it happen. We even share a wall so I can pester her with random comments through it and everything. Even though we both have boyfriends so still don't spend that much time together anymore, now we will at least SEE each other. And we'll probably do more stuff together, too. It's totally awesome. And makes me soooooo happy.

3. That January, quite possibly the most depressing month of the year (unless you live in a winterless wonderland), is finally coming to a close. We are that much closer to the gloriousness that is Spring, people!

Tell me...

2009-01-26T17:00:00.010-07:00

Why is it that I don't wear dresses to work very often?

Oh yeah. Maybe it's because of the stupid tie-thing that I forget (just one time!) to make sure is up before sitting on the pot, and then I stand up to have a pee-soaked dipstick swinging at my legs.

Niiiice.

Happy Blogiversary to me!

2009-01-23T10:17:00.005-07:00

I was noticing people celebrating their "blogiversaries" or whatever and I thought, "Wait a second...I think it's been about a year for me too!" So, I looked it up and today marks the day!

But I'm lame.

So there are no giveaways.

No fancy posts commemorating.

No sentiment.

Nope, not even any funny.

Anything that came to me to do for this seemed so narcissistic and self-important that I just couldn't bring myself to do anything.

But when other people do it I totally don't feel like they are narcissistic. Hmm. Interesting. (Well, actually it's not.)

Dude. I'm lame. But thanks for reading anyway.

Thankful Thursday

2009-01-22T11:27:00.008-07:00

You'll have to excuse the back-to-back Thankful Thursday posts, but I was knocked on my butt this past week with the flu and unable to post. Which brings me to the first thing I'm thankful for....

1. To be on the upswing of this nasty flu. I am telling you, I was SICK. There have been times in the past where I was "sick" and thought I might have the flu, but let me tell you people - you do not have the flu unless there is one or more times when you wish for death's sweet release. Or think death is coming whether you want it or not. (But believe me you will want it.) I am still pretty congested and have practically no voice, but I am in the best mood ever because I can drink water without puking my brains out. And, as if that last sentence was not graphic enough, I am going to tell you more because I want sympathy, dangit! On Monday I could ingest NOTHING. And when there was absolutely nothing left in my stomach, the retching continued until my body managed to pull up something it thought that it didn't need (i.e. my appendix, gall bladder, whatever). It was a lovely ol' time.

But ya know, it really has made me in a much better mood since. Good things come from being sick!

2. My brother, Darren, is ok and recovering well. Last week he was in an accident on a quad (4-wheeler, ATV, whatever you want to call it) on the Mattice boys' annual trip to Glamis. (Did you know that we're a crazy 4-wheeling family?) In the words of his wife, Mary Kate, "Darren was going up 'China Wall' when the quad got sideways and pile-drived the nose into a whoop, catapulting Darren 10-12 ft like a 'rag doll.' The bike had such momentum that it flipped end over end landing on top of Darren." The helmet he was wearing saved his life, but it was also the helmet's impact on his face that fractured his cheekbones and caused the other damage. I'll spare you the really gruesome pictures and just post what he looks like now.

And now I feel like a tool for complaining about being sick.

3. Joshy's willingness to take care of me when I was sick. (Are you tired of hearing about me being sick yet?) Josh has never made me food before because he just doesn't like to and I enjoy doing it for him, but he volunteered to make me dinner numerous times this past week. He took me to the doctor, and gently just rubbed my back as I leaned outside of the car making sounds that I'm sure would make most doctors a bit queasy. And when I had a fever and we were on the way home from Salt Lake and it was 20 degrees outside, he didn't just let me put the A/C below 60 degrees on full blast because I was so hot and thought I was going to puke, but he did it smiling and pretended that it didn't bother him in the slightest. (No doubt the vent on his side was closed and the seat warmer was on while he clutched the wheel wearing his winter coat.) He was a sweetie to me, and I deeeeply appreciate it. It would have been much more difficult to function if I hadn't had someone else functioning for me.

4. The fun a half-voice (remnants of the sickly congestion) provides. I'm so used to it now that sometimes I forget, but yesterday I was trying to show Josh how a song goes and instinctively started to sing it for him. I kept singing and then suddenly stopped and said, "Yeeeah, I don't really know what the song was either." I should video it because it really is hilarious. And nothing like Phoebe and her sticky shoe.

Which reminds me, Steve-- your solid knowledge of the details surrounding my last Friends reference reminds me of one of the many reasons we can be such good friends and share the love.

Thankful Thursday

2009-01-15T09:50:00.005-07:00

I have many things for which to be thankful this week, so let's get going!

1. My new car. No explanation necessary.

2. The miraculousness that was Friday's commute when I (and the Bug) spun across the freeway 4 or 5 times and drove away completely unscathed. Again, not much explanation necessary.

3. The brief warning before a sneeze. Ya know that feeling you get when you know you're about to sneeze? I love that! Even though it's often only seconds long, it's such a blessing! Just think of the chaos that would ensue if we just launched into a sneeze with absolutely no prep time. Food sprays, snot launches, all kinds of nasty stuff. I'm tellin' ya, Heavenly Father really thinks things through.

4. My red shoes with white polka dots. Every time I wear them - without fail - I get at least one compliment at each place I go. Case in point: First thing this morning I had to run by CarMax and the chick at the service dept desk commented on how awesome they are. Then I came to work, and hadn't been here 10 minutes before some chick in a neighboring dept said she loved them. Telling you - without. fail. (Oh, and thanks Mom for convincing me to buy these a couple years ago. These shoes were my first venture into the "daring" shoe realm so I needed a little push.)

I think I have a new love interest...

2009-01-14T11:34:00.008-07:00

It may not be right.

It may not be fair.

But it was love at first sight.

It's a 2007 Nissan Altima 2.5 SL

I know what you're thinking - But what about your adorable little bug?

Well, my friends, I'm done with adorable. I'm all about luxury now.

This baby's got full black leather interior. BOSE sound system. Heated seats. Dual temperature controls. Front 6-disc CD changer. CVT Transmission. Sunroof. Traction control (to help avoid experiences like this.) Power everything. Allow wheels. Shiftronic capability to go between manual and automatic shifting. A bumper-to-bumper warranty that takes me well above 100,000 miles. And more.

It accelerates like a V6, but has the gas mileage (not to mention friendlier price) of a 4-cylinder. In fact, Consumer Reports states that its 2.5 L engine has more power than many V6s - a fact to which I can attest.

The privacy glass, tinted windows, and roomy interior make me feel more okay about rocking out to the clear sound of the Bose sound system. And even if people do judge me, they cannot take my love away from me.

Oh, and did I mention I never have to take the key out of my purse? The car senses when the key is in within a certain range of it, so all I have to do is press a small button on the door handle to lock or unlock the doors. Once I'm inside with the door shut and the key is inside the car, I need only depress the brake and push a button and the car turns on. I love not having to dig through my purse.

Its ride is quiet and smooth, and although I adored my little bug and we endured many crazy experiences together, this Nissan has brought my daily commute to a level of enjoyment I never thought possible.

So it is with sadness I say goodbye to the bug. The sweet crayon smell. The quirky, often erratically clicking blinker. We had great times together, Bug. You always pulled me through, just when I thought the worst was inevitable. It's hard to say goodbye. And a big part of me wishes I could keep both of you around, but... I'll stop here. It's too painful to go on.

(Oh, and if you know of anyone who can take care of the bug and is ready for an adorable ride, send them to me. It's going at a great price.)

P.S.
Dealerships drool! CarMax rules!

(No, seriously. If buying used, go to CarMax.)

Sometimes it's in the big things too...

2009-01-09T09:51:00.008-07:00

This morning I set out on my usual 20-mile drive on the freeway to work. Traffic was steady and busy, but everyone was still managing to go 65 or 70 mph. I was in the furthest left lane (with the exception of the HOV lane) when traffic in front of me started to brake pretty suddenly. It snowed last night and the roads are clear now, but I was still worried about the possibility of ice, so I moved to the lane to the right where there was less traffic and I'd have more time to stop. Right as I moved over and started to brake, I hit ice.

My car immediately started to fishtail. This was not just a little fishtailing, but MAJOR. My back end swung over in the lane to the right of me, then suddenly swung back in the lane to the left. The ice went on for awhile and I could not, for the life of me, get control of the car.

At this point, I became quite worried about taking up 3 lanes, so I tried to move off of the ice to the furthest right lane so I could get some control and at the very least, take up fewer lanes. As soon as I got off the ice, my car flew to the right and immediately started spinning back toward the left - toward all of the other lanes.

I continued to spin in circles at a pretty high velocity, heading directly toward the thick cement wall that divides the interstate. I was actually grateful to be heading toward the wall because I just wanted to STOP, and I thought that was better than other cars hitting me.

It's strange how helpless you feel - well, and how helpless you actually are - when your car is spinning like that. There really seemed to be nothing for me to do except to just let it happen. I think the scariest part was seeing all the traffic coming directly at me as I spun around facing it.

(And you'll probably judge me for admitting it, but I've been planning to buy a new car and while I was spinning I kept thinking, Dangit! There goes my trade-in value! But ya know, that's probably a fair judgment.)

I figured I would gradually stop spinning and eventually come to a stop, but right as I was about to (or thought I was) hit the wall in my fourth or fifth fast spin, my car suddenly halted - leaving me facing forward, the same direction traffic was moving, about a foot from the wall. I ended up just enough in the shoulder to be out of the way, and no one was in the HOV lane so I was safe.

I looked at the traffic that had just caught up with me and everyone was going on like nothing had happened. Turns out I hit the ice at the perfect time - there "just happened" to be a hefty gap between me and the traffic behind me in this busy morning commute.

Somehow in the spinning my car had shut itself off. I gave myself a minute and said a quick prayer of thanks. Then I put my car in park, turned the key, breathed a sigh of relief when the car started with no problems, and merged with the traffic.

It was Cuh-RAZY. And I am immensely blessed.

Sometimes when we pray for safety in our morning prayers, it may seem like a little thing, but it's not.

And the little things are awesome, but it's stunning when God shows his love (and who's boss) in the big things, too.

It's in the little things

2009-01-06T10:15:00.008-07:00

Last night was full of not-fun events.

It took me an hour and a half to get home from work because of the snow and traffic. Josh and I had planned to have FHE together, for which I was going to make my famous spaghetti.

But when I got home and was already short on time because of the commute, I realized I didn't have some key ingredients and I really didn't want to go back out in the storm to get them. So I let Josh know he was on his own for dinner.

Then Josh and I had a miscommunication about what the plans were then, and a dumb mish-mash of events ensued.

I had to go grocery/miscellaneous shopping last night, but with traffic and the other mishaps, Josh and I didn't get back until nearly 12:30am. By that time all the spots in the underground garage were taken and I had to park outside in the perpetual blizzard. (Irony: Before pulling into the store, Josh asked me about how I scrape the windows of my car and I told him I didn't remember because I hadn't had to do it this year yet because I always get in the garage at home and at work. Oh, and the garage was full at work this morning, too.)

Then I forgot to set my alarm - a fact I did not realize until I was opening my eyes this morning and immediately thought, I didn't set my alarm last night! But then, when I looked at the clock, it was 7:30 am on the dot. I love sweet tender mercies.

I then commenced my morning ritual of opening the blinds first thing and what did I see? Sweet Joshy pulling up to my car, getting out in the snowy cold, and scraping my windows for me before he went to work - a task that would make him late for work.

What a great morning. I love my life.

PS..

2009-01-06T10:10:00.003-07:00

The countdown to ridding my home of the pink monstrosity (to some, known as a lovesac) pictured with the men below is nearly coming to a close! Hallelujah!

There's something you should know about me

2009-01-06T09:38:00.004-07:00

I make fantastic chocolate chip cookies. I am not kidding. They were nominated as the best cookies ever, but I declined the nomination, as I did not want people to try them and then feel deprived the rest of their lives every other time they ate other cookies. It's just not fair to the other cookies. (A dollar if you can tell me that reference.)

The key is the secret ingredient.

These cookies bring sweet peace to the soul. They embody serenity. They bring grown men to their knees (emotionally, that is). I am convinced that they could bring world peace. And they just keep getting better as the art of these cookies is perfected.

Don't believe me?

Well, do you know of any other cookie that could get four grown men to not only watch 7th Heaven willingly, but for one of them to actually request it? And more than that, that would cause them to be open enough to the glory* of 7th Heaven that they could show their appreciation with hearty bursts of laughter? (Accompanied, of course, by lighthearted jest - they have to keep some semblance of masculinity.)

I'm just one step closer to world domination.

Oh, and yes. One of the cookies in the above photo is half-eaten. It is not possible to handle these cookies and resist even a small taste unless you have already gorged yourself on the cookie dough and then cookies.

*Disclaimer: I can only stand behind the first couple seasons of 7th Heaven in my endorsement. Only a true cheese-lover can be okay with subsequent seasons, so be cautious in selecting episodes.

I can be a princess, too.

2009-01-05T11:06:00.004-07:00

Same trip, same airport I saw a chick in regular, everyday clothes walking around wearing a tiara like it was nothing. Now that I see that's cool and acceptable social behavior, I'm totally getting one too.

What do you think of this one? Too much?

Unfortunate for her, hilarious for me

2009-01-05T10:57:00.002-07:00

While making my way through and waiting in the airport for my flight back home, they kept paging someone with the last name syphilis. It totally cracked me up every time they said it.

Celebrity Sighting

2009-01-01T11:58:00.003-07:00

Josh and I were watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air last night, and it was an episode with Hilary's boyfriend/fiance, Trevor. I laughed, remembering old times of watching and when Trevor goes bungee jumping to propose to her on tv and, uh.. doesn't make it (it sounds much worse laughing at that when you type it). Then Josh says, "Wait a second. Isn't that..."

Yup. Totally Brian Stokes Mitchell.

Oh, and yes we were watching re-runs of Fresh Prince on New Year's Eve and not partying. Jealous?

Happy new year to you!

"He ate 'em!"

2008-12-26T22:51:00.004-07:00

As soon as Kiki remembered about the cookies, she raced into the front room to see what happened. I chased after her and managed to turn the camera on just in time to catch her reaction:

Love it.

Cookies for Santa

2008-12-24T22:34:00.022-07:00

Kiki and I made cookies tonight for my dad's birthday. She kept picking at the sugar, the brown sugar, and also the butter. She was especially fond of the sugar, and I told her that she needed to leave the ingredients alone or our cookies would be messed up so she should pick out of the sugar can. I then found her with the 1/4 measuring cup, holding it like a spoon and taking swigs of sugar. Being the reponsible aunt that I am, I dumped out half of the cup and told her she could only eat what was left in it. (Wouldn't want her to ruin her teeth!)

We decided to leave some for Santa. I suggested we leave a note and Kiki draw him a picture. She told me what to write, then drew a marvelous picture of Santa.

Those may look like scribbles on the mouth, but Kiki advises me that it's his "fur."

She was quite particular about how the cookies and the note should be placed. First the cookies went on top of the note, then above them, and then they were switched back and forth. She eventually decided the cookies should go above the note and explained to me that Santa would flip the note over for the picture of the cookies.

An hour or so later, Kiki came to me and insisted that we needed to leave a cookie for Santa's mom. I told her that I didn't think Santa had a mom and she adamantly responded, "Yes, him does! I saw her on TV!" I said, "Ohhh, you mean Santa's wife!" She then grabbed a cookie, explaining to everyone she passed that we had to leave a cookie for Santa's wife.

She then asked me if I wanted to sleep in the living room with her.

It was absolutely adorable. What a treat to experience the magic of Christmas once again with a four-year-old's help.

Now that Kiki is asleep, Santa has come and left her some presents, eaten the cookies, and written her a brief thanks.

May each of you be blessed enough to have little glimpses that knock you out of the hum-drum and help you remember why it is we all love Christmas so much. And not just the Santa part - but especially the real reason for the season.

"Christmas means giving. The Father gave his Son, and the Son gave his life. Without giving there is no true Christmas, and without sacrifice there is no true worship."
Gordon B. Hinckley

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Further evidence as to how I have the best life ever

2008-12-22T11:17:00.007-07:00

The past week or so has been full of Christmas parties and little lucky incidents at each - further evidencing that I have the best life ever.

First was the ward Christmas party. We were supposed to either dress nice or wear an ugly sweater. Josh did both. He loves that sweater and does not just wear it to "ugly sweater" parties, but also, ya know... to look nice.

Ohhh, you just made fun of him, eh? Well you should feel bad now because that sweater belonged to his dad. Who is dead.

Guilt trip over. Moving on.

The next party was Josh's work party at a nice restaurant, Goodwood. Josh wasn't too excited to hang out with a bunch of these people, but we were going for the free dinner. As luck would have it, when we got there, the main table with all the work people was full, so they sat us at a booth. By ourselves. So essentially we got a free date night at Goodwood. Rock on! (I will not go into detail about the subsequent shopping for a shirt to match a darling skirt where I may or may not have had a mini-meltdown full of I'm-fats and I-don't-care-if-you-think-I'm-gorgeous-because-I'm-tubby-Mctubbers. That might negate the whole "best life ever" theme.)

The night after that was my company's huge ~~Christmas~~ Holiday party. (Does that bogus politically correct crap bug anyone else?) These parties are notorious for their huge prizes, so it's always quite the event. It was semi-formal dress at the Grand America Hotel ballroom in Salt Lake City where, I might add, they so generously offered XanGo employees a one-night only offer of a cheap $229 per night deal. (Yeah, that's how nice this place is.) I checked in and got my employee gift, which included a $50 American Express card, an 8 GB flash drive, gourmet chocolates, and a Real Salt Lake jersey (for which Josh was ultra excited). We then sat down and had our fancy-pants dinner. The drawings started and I was drawn for 250 bucks in cash. Woohoo! The chick who won over 2000 bucks from the same guy shortly after me, or the other chick who won 4000 in cash from the same guy later, ooor the guy who won the trip anywhere he wants in the world may argue that they have the best life ever, but c'mon - no one expects to one-up the guy who walked on the moon. (If you didn't catch that reference, shame on you. Go listen to Brian Regan.)

(And here I will not mention the drive from Provo to Salt Lake where I may or may not have told Josh to step on it because he was driving soooo slowly, and where he may or may not have been equally annoyed because of the snowstorm that had covered the roads in snow, and where these little annoyances may or may not have made for the most pleasant drive ever. Again, don't wanna negate the theme...)

The next night was a party in Park City with a bunch of people Josh knew in Hong Kong (did I mention Josh grew up in Asia?). We went with his mom to a beautiful cabin, and I got to pass the girlfriend test. It was good food, and especially nice seeing Josh so proud to show me off to all these people he's known for years.

Oh, and before we left for the party, Josh's mom gave me some nice Arbonne body butter and scrub, as well as a kitchen tools set. Nice!

I sort of stunk at taking pictures at all these events, and the sweater one is the only picture of us I was able to steal from someone else on facebook. Sooo, in order to keep your love and make up for the boringness, here is a picture of Cathy - my alterego. Perhaps I will better introduce ya'll later.

Oh my. I just posted that on the internet. Ah well, there's no turning back now!

Thankful Thursday

2008-12-18T10:00:00.011-07:00

This week I am thankful for:

1.

This is funny stuff. Oh, to be so clever.

And why is it that most things are sooo much funnier when guys do it than when girls do?

2. The concert.
Wait, whaa?? I know you are all shocked and dismayed that I am grateful for this.

3.

The past I-don't-know-how-many-times I haven't been able to make arrangements to see my bffs who are in the Phoenix area, because my family is 3 hours away, and ya know.. it's hard. This trip home for Christmas I decided it had been entirely too long since I'd seen these wonderful women (Jewel, Corri, and Jenn!) who have meant so much to me, so I went on priceline.com and got me a nice ol' hotel room for 35 bucks. What? You heard right, 35 smackeroos. (How come no one uses that word anymore?) So now I get to see them aaaand spend a night with just me and my mama hanging out in a hotel room doing what we want in Phoenix - one of my all-time favorite things to do.

4. This three-times-daily reminder.

This little picture graces the back of each of my pills. And it cracks me up every time.

I may or may not have sneaked them in Josh's coat pockets and other random places for him to find periodically as a reminder to be chaste.

5.

The fact that a week from today is CHRISTMAS (can you believe it's a week??) and I will be in Arizona with my fabulous family.

I forgot to mention...

2008-12-16T09:49:00.010-07:00

Recognize this guy?

Yeah, that's Richard Gilmore. Ya know.. Gilmore Girls? Ok, it's actually Edward Hermann. He also played FDR in Annie and is in a ton of other movies, too. He was a guest performer at the concert. He gave a monologue about Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, which segued into a magnificent performance of the song Longfellow wrote, "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day." It was very touching. He also recited Luke 2.

The other guest was this guy:

You probably don't recognize his face, but his name is Brian Stokes Mitchell and he sings "Through Heaven's Eyes" in The Prince of Egypt and is a Broadway star. Hearing his voice on this song and the simple fact that he was performing with MoTab, one might assume that his style is pretty classical. Yeah, sure, he can be, but he is sosososo versatile. (He even brayed like a donkey.) His range was totally out of hand. Josh even commented on how out of control he was.

Speaking of out of control, at the end when I was taking pictures, assuming it was fine because the concert was over (while being chastised by Josh if you recall), they started singing a short little finale, so naturally, I recorded it. You'll have to excuse the talking and movement at the beginning. I was trying to tell Josh I was recording (because I was so pleased with myself) without letting everyone else hear me, but when he couldn't I kept trying to nonchalantly move a little closer to him to tell him.

Hmm. I'm a dork.

Best. Concert. Ever. (EVER!)

2008-12-15T09:50:00.016-07:00

I sneaked my camera out at the ending bows to take this, all the while being chastised by Josh. (Yeah, like he's ever been a goody two-shoes...)

I've always thought yeah, ok, MoTab is nice, but in the past year or so I have developed an absolute adoration of the choir and their music. Seriously. There have been weeks at a time where it was only MoTab that I listened to on the 25-minute drive to work, and then on the way back home again. Every day. I listen to them every night to fall asleep. I love the orchestrations, I love the peace that comes from their slower songs. It calms me. It soothes me. Have I mentioned that I love it?

That being said, you can imagine my excitement when two tickets to their concert just happened to fall in my lap. Joshy agreed to go with me and I was like a little kid going to see Santa Claus. Even so, I had no idea how absolutely wonderful and, I might venture to say, perfect this evening would be.

The singing was impeccable. The selection of songs inspired. The presentation delightful. Most of all, however, the Spirit that was imminent in that hall was astonishing.

My testimony of preparing oneself for spiritual things was solidified in this experience. I know that pretty much everyone there thought the concert was wonderful, too, but I don't doubt that it was the prayer and pleading for a special experience that helped it hit home so hard. (Now the thought has occurred to me, why not do this more often and more sincerely prior to Sunday's meetings?)

Also increased was my testimony of this: God loves me more than He loves my happiness. And He knows exactly what I need. The past several months have been rough for me. I've plead for some sort of relief, but it seemed to be eluding me. This was exactly for what I had been longing. And the delayed relief made the experience all the more sweet, and all the more tender. As cheesy and cliched as it sounds, I felt like my soul was fed, but I hadn't realized just how hungry I was.

I could ramble on about this experience for awhile, so let me sum up by saying this - Tickets are randomly selected months in advance, and I strongly suggest, if at all possible, you at least try for tickets next year. Now don't go thinking, yeah, but she's a MoTab freak, so naturally she'd love it. Even Josh, who wasn't really all that excited to go, absolutely loved it. He's not really one for hyperbole and he even called it "amazing."

I'm telling you - you won't regret it.

Oh, and it also didn't hurt that we went to The Cheesecake Factory afterward for a delicious dinner and delectable dessert. Awwwwesome.

Thankful Thursday

2008-12-11T12:41:00.010-07:00

This week I am thankful for:

1. The opportunity to serve. I love that at Christmastime, there are so many opportunities to dive in and do something for a specific person. Drives and projects are held year-round, but only at Christmas is it so easy to find out the needs of a specific person whom you have never met, and try to help them. I am grateful to be in a position to be able to do adopt a soldier, pick an ornament with a local child's wish list off a tree at a store, etc, etc. It's been fun, and has helped me to get out the "getting" mode that can accompany Christmas, and focus more on the giving. I do, however, tend to get a little out of control. How is it that I'm pretty budget conscious when spending on those I love, but when it comes to people I don't know at all, I'll pick this up and that up and oo! That too! - and end up spending more money on them than nearly anyone else?

2. These little packets of goodness. Although we have a love/hate relationship and only part of me is grateful for them...
I just purchased these maybe 10 minutes ago, but they have already changed my life {slash} been one of the top 5 worst mistakes of my XanGo career. They are delicious. They melt in your mouth. And now I will know they are upstairs in the vending machine. I will think about them. I will want one everyday. But they pack TWO HUNDRED calories PER cupcake. And I will slowly expand my muffin top and drain my bank account little by little. Dangit, what have I done?! These things cost more calories than my lunch! I had already banned myself from purchasing Hostess cupcakes. How could I foolishly expect them to be only partially satisfying like Little Debbie? Nevermind - cupcakes removed from the Thankful list. They are the bane of my existence.

Except I love you, cupcake. Don't ever leave me.

3. The cute excuse.
I can get away with almost anything I want with Josh when I use the cute excuse. "You can't be mad at me. I'm cute!" or in this case, "Can I paint your toenails? I'm cuuuute..."

Don't worry, I don't abuse my cute power. (Often.)

And also don't worry. I will start blogging about real stuff again soon.

Disneyland - FANTASMIC!

2008-12-05T10:37:00.017-07:00

I hate when I wait forever to blog about stuff, so then I have nothing really to say about it. It's like when you don't write in your journal for a long time and it's too overwhelming to catch up on everything so you just don't write in it? Well, I'm determined to do something about Disneyland, so I'm going to address it in installments. That way, I won't be overwhelmed and annoyed, and you won't be as bored. So here's installment one of my Disneyland trip with my mom, my sister, Ann Marie, and her husband, Cody.

On my first night in Disneyland we watched the show they're running right now, FANTASMIC! I've gotta say.. it really was super awesome. The show is in Frontierland on the water, and the basic premise is Mickey battling evil and conjuring good. They use floating scenes by projecting them onto a fountain of water shooting up in the middle of the lake, lots of pyrotechnics, and over 50 live performers. And it's all set to music.

If you ever get the chance to go to D-land while they're doing that, GO. Since the others had already been there a couple days, Cody and Ann Marie just camped out at the front of the lake to save a spot and let my mom and me go play. Because of that, we got fantastic seats. I'm sure this show is way better if you get good seats and I'm telling you - it's worth it to save a good one.

Enough of my rambling. Here are some from the show (Again, the videos look really great uploaded on my computer, but anytime I upload them on youtube or blogger you can hardly see anything! GWAH!!!):

Peter Pan and Captain Hook fought on this boat while the crew tormented Wendy and the others. And yes, Peter flew around. Yeah... my description bites. Watch the video. It's cool:

Then came some of the princesses and their dudes on boats. They each had a little turn performing their main love song. Awwww.

THE BAD GUYS:

Mirror, mirror on the ~~wall~~ water...

Mickey defeats the bad guys:

The fire from the dragon was seriously so hot. It was sweeet.

Steamboat Willie Mickey with characters all over the boat.

They then did a big fireworks finale

The fireworks got so bright that it was a complete white-out. This is with no-flash, but right as they exploded. Awwwwesome. This then segued into the huge firework show they do nightly over the castle.

How can you not love Disneyland??

Thankful Thursday

2008-12-04T09:56:00.005-07:00

Another week, another round of gratitude! Man, I really should stop being so lazy and post on days besides Thursdays. Anyway, here goes!

1. This video:

HI. LAR. IOUS.

For outtakes, go here. Seriously, this woman is funny.

2. This and the wickedly awesome deal I got on it on Black Friday:
Yes, I went out on Black Friday. Yes, I was at Kohl's by 3:55am.

Stop judging, and thinking you're better than me because you'd never stoop so low to save a few bucks and shop on Black Friday. I reviewed the ads beforehand and I discovered that I could complete my Christmas shopping in the one trip and could save tons of money so I braved it. Plus, we Kohl's shoppers are much more sophisticated than the crazy Walmart folk who trample and kill people. Ya know... not that I'm judging you people who went to Walmart and saying that I'm better...

Back to the point.

Yes, I was strangely excited by a vacuum purchase. Yes, I was even more strangely excited to deep clean my entire apartment while everyone else was away. Seriously. I was a tad frightened by how excited I was. I'm still supposed to be cool and single! (Yeah, yeah, take offense married folk - you have husbands so shutup.) I just love the feeling of a tidy, clean apartment. Ahhhhh.

As I re-read that section, I noticed that it sounded a bit angry with the "sucka," and "shutup," and stuff. I am really happy inside, I swear. Can we still be friends?

3. To have all my Christmas shopping done! I've never been done so early, but it's super nice.

4. Christmas decorations. I don't have tons of stuff because ya know... I share an apartment with 3 other girls and there's not tons of room and I'm still in the stage of life where you move often. Well, other people move often. I've lived in the same place since I moved to Utah. What can I say? I'm a home-body. I do, however, have more decorations than most. I seized the opportunity to decorate after cleaning and my place feels so cozy now. I love it. And I love the mood I get in when there's just ambient lighting with the Christmas lights providing most of it.

For what are you thankful? Feel free to steal the logo (created by this chick) and have your own Thankful Thursday.

Thankful Thursday - THANKSGIVING!

2008-11-27T11:31:00.004-07:00

I am so blessed. Thanksgiving should require that I write a huge ol' post listing my causes for gratitude, but ya know... it's Thanksgiving and I'd rather be with people than sitting in front of a computer. So here's a short (VERY) list of reasons I have to be grateful from just the past week:

1. Josh and his mom, Lorraine. With Alan's funeral and then my trip to Disneyland merely 2 weeks apart, then Thanksgiving only another 2 weeks later, I felt it a little silly (and expensive!) to make another trip home for Thanksgiving when I'd be going home for Christmas just another 3 weeks after that. So Josh and Lorraine stepped up to the plate to be sure I would have a Thanksgiving that could somehow make my very first Thanksgiving away from my family at least somewhat enjoyable. Neither of them had plans to really do a dinner or much of anything, but were just going to go to a relative's house. Josh, however, thoughtfully asked his mother to stay home and make the traditional feast for just the 3 of us. Better yet, Lorraine willingly and cheerfully obliged. She has been nothing but gracious and serving. It's different than being home with family and nothing can replace that, but the two of them have made it still enjoyable for me.

2. My mom. She has been sure to call me and just let me know she misses me and is thinking about me. Even with a house full of family and cooking a huge meal for all of them, I'm grateful to have a mother who is NEVER too busy for me. I love her. She is my best friend.

3. Thanksgiving. I'm grateful to have a major holiday, one of the biggest of the year in fact, devoted to taking time out to reflect on one's blessings.

I hope each of you have (or had) a Happy Thanksgiving!